


Love Like You

by FloralunaAria



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Colemance, F/M, I think I'll get more mature and violent later but for now it's chill
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-19
Updated: 2016-01-15
Packaged: 2018-04-15 12:12:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4606350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FloralunaAria/pseuds/FloralunaAria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cole meets a small elven blizzard of a woman- the Inquisitor- and explores the world through his new place in the Inquisition. He's changing as he learns more of the world and the people in it, more than he expected to, more than he was ready for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: Pssst, the fic was in fact titled after the song "Love Like You" from Steven Universe. I felt it suited Cole. Okay, first attempt at Colemance, so please let me know if this reads well or not. I worry it sounds awkward because of the tense, but considering Cole I feel like the present tense suits him more at the moment.

**This story features[a female Lavellan Inquisitor, named Auri.](http://40.media.tumblr.com/88e85b592cd1447c682d3f74e05614b6/tumblr_nsi3b5nEXW1s3rzhao1_1280.png) This is just the introductory bit, so we’ll get to see more of her personality in the next bit when they get to Skyhold.**

* * *

  
The first time he sees her is when she opens the gates to let him into Haven, just before the siege on Haven starts.

She shines like a beacon, the mark on her hand making her far too bright. It’s the Anchor, marking her, making her so easy to find amidst the group protectively standing near the gates. He steps towards her, rushed, urgent- warns her, of the incoming threat.

She doesn’t have time to introduce herself, but Cole already knows her name, hears it in the whispers of wisps floating around her like wintry wind.

_Auri Lavellan._

The woman is elven, small, slight, slender, with a youthful face, snowy hair and skin, and deep blue eyes. Despite the severity of the situation, there is a tiny upward quirk of her lips- although it is an empty smile, not joyful. The Herald of Andraste, or so she is called, is dressed in thick Avvar attire from the hips down, but from the hips up, she is dressed only in a small scarf and black and white Avvar war paint. He is unaccustomed to seeing women in such a state of undress, but does not dwell on it long. There are more important matters to attend to- like the Red Templars marching on Haven.  
  
_He moves as if he’s dancing_ , he hears her think about him, as she sizes him up, _Good vibes. Seems like a friend_. She looks into his eyes a moment before the battle starts, still gauging him, and eventually decides, _I could trust him_. Cole is pleased by this, considering it’s not often he isn’t faced with suspicion.  
  
But as the roar of battle approaches, Cole doesn’t have the chance to read much more of her before the chaos erupts, so he darts off into the fray to do his best to help those around him.

* * *

  
“I’ll bury Haven, while you escape,” Auri declares. It’s the Herald’s move, a self-sacrifice, made when Cole informs her that the Elder One cares for no one but the Herald. Cole is in the Chantry hall, watching, listening, as Cullen worries for her.  
  
“But how will _you_ escape?” Cullen says.  
  
Auri’s ever-present smile says mischief, but as usual, it is empty. Bright eyes and a cat-like smile, something to reassure the commander, to make him think she has a plan.  
  
Cole knows she does not have one.  
  
He catches the way her fingers tremble by her thigh before she takes her staff and walks alone out into the ruins of sieged Haven, a blizzard in her wake as she walks.  
  
He wonders if she is too young to die like this, but she is doing it to help people. He decides that he likes this woman, the Herald. He wants to stay with this group, the Inquisition. He can help a lot here.  
  
He helps the Chancellor escape, lending the dying man his shoulder.

* * *

  
When the signal flare goes up, the Herald successfully buries Haven.  
  
Auri wakes in the snow, in the cold caverns of the Frostback Mountains. Thankfully, the cold does not bite into her as badly as it could. Being an ice mage made the cold kind to her, at least to an extent. On top of that, the war paint on her body serves to seal the pores in her skin, creating a tough outer leather that keeps out both blades and the winter chill that the Avvar battle in the Frostbacks. It is lightweight, effective armor, but it is inefficient, as too many blows leave it cracked and weak, flaking off, leaving open weak spots for enemies to strike.  
  
Already, parts of her were exposed to the cold from the battle.  
  
She slowly got up out of the ice and snow, and began to fight her way through the demon-infested tunnels, until she finally found a way out. She is injured and exhausted, but the cold at least numbs the wounds and even causes the ugly coagulation of blood in her wounds so that she cannot bleed out. Even so, there is a small, barely noticeable trail of blood through the snow that eventually vanishes to nothing as her wounds are chilled to the point of freezing shut.  
  
“I have no clue where I’m going,” Auri says to herself in a voice hitched and interrupted by her shivering gasps of breath. It is terribly cold, and even the Avvar armor could not protect her from it once she’d finally found her way out of the tunnels and into the harsh mountain winds and snows. There is a blizzard- a true blizzard, one not in her control- raging around her and blinding her, and she walks endlessly in one direction and hopes she finds the rest of the Inquisition.  
  
She has no energy left to weave magic even into the wisps of fire she so craves, and barely the energy to walk, but she must press on. Even the mark on her hand- the Anchor, Corypheus had called it- was causing her more pain than usual, burning bright even with the rest of her body slowly freezing away.  
  
She was so very tired.  
  
She is speaking to herself simply to hear a voice, even if it’s only her own. She speaks of anything, everything- how awful this path is, so long and dark and roadless, or how much she is suddenly craving a pastry, or wondering if that cat she had taken a fondness to made it out of Haven safely. The wind is howling and the snow buffets her body, the flaking black war paint slowly exposing more and more of her snowy skin to the deadly winter winds, draining the warmth and life from her even as she shivers, gasping and trudging through the high snow.  
  
She walks, and walks, and walks, and with each leg of the endless journey, Auri grows weaker. She believes that she may well die like this, here, surrounded by her element.  
  
“It’s stupid to feel betrayed by it,” she scolds herself with a bitter smile. Her skin is pallid now, more than she already was naturally. She can barely speak now, through the chattering of her teeth, but she pushes forward, even long after parts of her have gone numb. Her lips are nearly as blue as the eyeshadow she insists on wearing, despite Cassandra’s insistence that it was frivolous.  
  
How long has it been? It feels like hours, but in the darkness and the haze of the blizzard, her sense of time is distorted.  
  
She doesn’t want to die here. With all the strength she could muster, she screams in agony in the hopes that anyone would hear her, off in the distance.

* * *

  
Cole hears it, and lifts his head, turning it towards the path the group had just come down. There is a pain, so loud it can even be heard among the misery in the camp.  
  
“ _Biting, cold, numb, can’t breathe, shaking and desperate and lost, searching for friends. Lonely, afraid, hand burning, body freezing_ ,” Cole begins to say, aloud, his voice growing in fervor as he spoke, catching the attention of several members of the Inquisition. They had forgotten he was there, as was normal. The group is startled to hear his voice, to see him again, appearing from seemingly nowhere- but they remembered him, the strange young man who’d warned them of the attack.  
  
“What is it, Cole?” says Solas, an elven man who is patient and understanding of him. “Who is that?”  
  
“The Herald- she’s alive. She’s very cold, she thinks she’s going to die in the snow before she can reach you. She is wounded. _Find me, anybody, please, please, it’s so cold, can’t go much farther_ ,” Cole announces in an even more urgent voice, hand raising to point in the direction of the pain. Cullen shoots up out of his seat and to his men, and organizes a search. Cassandra is on his heels, charging past him in her haste while Cullen gathers his men.  
  
When Auri sees fire on the horizon, she hears the commander’s voice over the din of soldiers.  
  
“There! It’s her!” Cullen calls.  
  
“Thank the Maker!” Cassandra says, her voice familiar, a comfort.  
  
Auri smiles, genuine, relief washing over her, and collapses, out like the embers of the abandoned fires she’d passed.

* * *

  
Cole is glad to see the Herald arriving safely. She is in the commander’s arms, wrapped up in a blanket.  
  
_Safe, warm_ , he feels from her sleeping mind, two very simple thoughts that even a dreamer could conjure.  
  
So he returns his focus to the dying Chancellor until the moment Auri wakes. Her blue eyes open slowly, to the sound of fighting, and she reluctantly sits up, uncaring of the fact that most of the war paint has come off her skin, leaving her exposed. She did not care before, and did not care now. Although, Mother Giselle saw to it that a shroud was wrapped over the Herald’s shoulders for the sake of modesty.  
  
“What modesty?” Auri laughs with a bat of her eyes. “This paint didn’t leave anything to the imagination, Revered Mother.” She enjoys flustering the humans like this, it’s one of the small victories she managed to gain during her “detainment” in the Inquisition. She is no longer a prisoner, though, no, she no longer feels so trapped.  
  
But once the fighting is calmed, the Inquisition sings, and Auri wishes she could hide in a full cloak- one with a large hood. Auri does not know this song, this _human_ song, Cole learns through the confusion buzzing in her mind. People kneel before her and gather, singing of hope as Auri stands there, unsure of what to do.  
  
She couldn’t sing along.  
  
The snowy elf feels uncomfortable, but Cole hears a laugh threatening to bubble up out of heart and into her mouth to cover it up, her lips still quirked upwards just barely in that cat-like smile. A laugh to cover the discomfort. Cole likes the sound of it resonating in her heart, but he wishes he could hear it out loud, one that was genuine.  
  
When the Herald is urged down to rest again, much to her complaint, she pouts and huffs. She is young, still, compared to the Inquisition’s main leaders, or by Thedasian standards. She is not afraid to remind them of this, and she sulks in the makeshift bed until she is suddenly presented with a familiar and furry face.  
  
“Mila!” Auri gasps in delight, lighting up when she sees the stray cat, before sitting right up to take the cat out of gloved hands and into her arms. She looks up and sees a familiar, broad-brimmed hat, and her eyes shine with curiosity. “Oh! Cole, wasn’t it?” she asks.  
  
Cole is surprised to hear the way she remembers his name. He is so used to making people forget him, that he forgets he hasn’t erased himself from some of the memories of those here. Even so, she doesn’t seem frightened by his sudden appearance, and instead, meets his gaze directly, using one hand to lift the brim of his hat so she can better see his face.  
  
It takes Cole a moment to remember to reply, still surprised to see someone so boldly reaching out to him.  
  
“Yes. I’m Cole,” he confirms, feeling a little exposed with the way she looks brightly at him. He isn’t sure what else to say. “You’re Auri, the Herald,” he adds on, helpfully.  
  
Auri laughs. _Cute_ , Cole hears her think. He is surprised, to say the least, and almost misses her next words. He’s not used to actually stopping to normally converse with people- he helps, they forget, he leaves. It’s a familiar pattern he feels comfortable with, safe in. This wasn’t fitting the pattern, and he was a bit at a loss as a result.  
  
“You found Mila,” the Herald points out with a smile, before stroking the cat’s grey fur. The cat purrs and curls up happily in her lap, content.  
  
“Yes. I got all the animals to safety,” Cole replies, and Auri realizes that’s probably why she can hear dogs barking now and then throughout the camp.  
  
Cole feels the warmth and joy in the Herald’s chest and hears her laugh again, but this time the sound makes _him_ smile a little, too.  
  
“Thank you,” she says, reaching up to gently rest her hand atop his head- well, his hat- and pat him, before she finally settles down to sleep, the cat curled up against its familiar new friend.  
  
“It’s one less thing to mourn,” Auri hums contentedly, giving Cole her smile before falling into much-needed slumber.  
  
“You’re welcome!” Cole says back when her words sink in, perking up, voice bright, but Auri is already deaf to the world around her, sleeping peacefully.  
  
Cole feels pleased to have helped, like he usually does, but at that moment, there is something _more_. A warmth in his chest. The pleasant sensation of being acknowledged, remembered- _thanked_. And with such a gentle touch, a kind gesture, at that.  
  
He wants to get to feel that gentle warmth more, to feel gratitude from those he helps.

He continues to slip around the camp and do what he can- but despite his desire to feel that gratitude again, he still makes most of the Inquisition forget, once he finishes his little tasks.  
  
Cole is still afraid of letting most of them remember, and helping has always been enough for him.

 


	2. Settling In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The musings that ensue as Cole watches the Inquisitor settle into Skyhold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Auri is exactly the kind of person who probably shouldn't be trusted with power over rifts in the Fade. She's a little shit and this only barely dips into it.

Solas tells the Herald of a place the Inquisition could go, a safe, defensible place, strong and empty, a place he said he’d learned of through the Fade. The trip ahead is arduous, but mostly uneventful, save for the minor squabbles that sometimes erupt within the group.

The Herald, however, seems to be sullen lately, her usual cat-like smile replaced by a very stubborn pout that most of the group had noticed by now.

"Well, she's been in a foul mood," Cullen sighs, speaking to Cassandra after returning to her side from speaking with Auri.

Cassandra is about to reply, but she is interrupted by a different voice.

"You made her wear a shirt," Cole says, startling the pair. "She doesn't like it."

Cullen stumbles and nearly ends up tripping right into a horse’s rear end, but is luckily prevented from such a fate by Cassandra grabbing the back of his armor and pulling him back up. The commander is red, and sputters, “Her war paint was left back at Haven and most of it is already gone! It’s _indecent_ to go about like that, and far too cold. _Maker’s breath_ , it was already indecent even with the paint intact.”

Cole is picking up on a lot of interesting thoughts now that the topic is gaining traction in the group around them, but he continues, unfazed. "She liked watching everyone's faces go red when she talked to them, yours especially. Now she can't see it. She's not happy about it,” Cole states simply.

Sera erupts into a fit of laughter, loud and shameless. “I _knew_ she was doin’ it on purpose,” Sera cackles, grinning brightly. “Showing off a pair of tits like that, it’s bound to mess with all the uptight pricks, yeah?” After laughing harder at the scandalized faces of some of those around her, she happily sighed, "Oh, shite, you lot should see your faces. She's won points in my book.”

“Well, I wasn’t going to complain about the view,” Iron Bull chimes in with a chuckle, to be pinned with a glare by Blackwall.

“It’s _inappropriate_ to gaze at her like that,” Blackwall says. “Show the Herald some respect.”

“Now, now, an objective discussion about someone’s features surely isn’t so bad,” Dorian quips, sharing a conspiratory look with Sera before Varric laughs.

“You’re all ridiculous,” the dwarf says, and Dorian only smirks and waves a hand dismissively.

“Oh, but you’re getting inspiration. I can see it in your eyes!” Dorian says. “After all, the Herald seems to know just how beautiful she is, much like myself. There’s romance in charm and confidence, is there not?”

“ _Enough_ ,” Cassandra interrupts, pinching the bridge of her nose. “The Herald’s… _bosom_ … is not something to be so flippantly discussed _ever_ , let alone in public.”

“Why not? They’re a cute pair. Credit where it’s due, please,” the Herald’s voice suddenly joins in, and the group erupts into chaos.

Auri’s little smile returns to her face as she watches several faces go red.

“Auri,” Leliana says mirthfully, while the group is a mess of excuses or accusations over who started it. “While this is amusing, it would do us well if you were to show more modesty. You _are_ viewed as a holy figure, now, Herald of Andraste. And it’s getting to a point where the Avvar war paint will not be enough to defend you in battle. Please consider allowing us to craft you proper battlemage armor.”

Auri sighs, the pout returning. “Alright.” She remains silent after that, running ahead to be at the head of the group once more.

“She wants it to at least be blue,” Cole says helpfully after Auri moves. Josephine raises an eyebrow at him, but makes note of the suggestion.

Solas sighs. “It’s hard to believe, sometimes, that of all possibilities, she is the one marked by the Anchor.”

“But she is good,” Cole pipes up again, once again startling those around him. They are still not sure what to make of his presence, still constantly forgetting who he is, only to remember (if vaguely) once he speaks and draws attention to himself. “She wants to help people.”

“That may be, but she could stand to be a little more serious,” Josephine sighs, seated on her horse as they all march along. “’When were arrive at this stronghold Solas speaks of, I believe it would do us all good if we were to begin instructing her.”

Vivienne joins in now, finally seeing that the conversation has moved on to a more respectable topic. “Precisely, my dear. I agree- it would do especially well if we were to teach Auri the basics of the Game. If she were to take it seriously, I feel she would enjoy it.”

Auri ignores the way the group discusses her and her future, and marches even further on ahead through the snow to where she cannot hear them, sighing, before running ahead. She is surprised to feel a sudden presence at her side, and she glances over to her companion- ah, that strange young man.

“ _Caged, frustrated, a doll for the hands of those wiser, more experienced, intelligent,_ ” Cole observes, and Auri raises an eyebrow, confused. The strange boy has a habit of spouting nonsense, of knowing things he shouldn’t. He doesn’t _feel_ normal either- as a mage, Auri recognizes the pull of the Fade around him. Perhaps he is a mage as well?

Instead, Auri replies, “Yes?” She is lost, unsure of what Cole expects her to say after hearing her own thoughts mirrored back at her.

“You are new, learning, turned to a clean slate, pulled out of your world and into a new one, trying to help.” Like him, Cole considers. “Learning isn’t bad. Stepping back isn’t as fun, but it’s important.”

Auri hums, mulls over his words, and Cole feels the tension leave her body with a long sigh. She is calm, relaxed, he has helped. “I suppose you’re right,” Auri says, and then she smiles, reaching over and up to pat him on the head again. “Thank you. You’re pretty perceptive, Cole. It’s like you know exactly what to say to cheer someone up.”

“Not exactly,” Cole says slowly. “Sometimes I have to wait until they forget, and start over.”

Auri wrinkles her nose a tiny bit in confusion, before laughing. She doesn’t understand him, but Cole can tell that she likes him. It’s a nice feeling, being liked. It’s a few steps before having a friend- and then, there’s a brief pain in his own chest.

He wonders if Rhys and Evangeline are okay.

But he cannot help others if they’re drowned out by his own noise, so he pushes away the feelings once more and slips back into the mass of people, doing what he can to help. The group forgets they ever saw or heard him, and he likes it that way.

* * *

The new Inquisitor must heft up the sword, something too broad and huge and heavy for her thin frame. She is built for dancing, for weaving the Fade into powerful spells, for leaping and running and evading, not for the sheer power and strength and close-combat attacks of a warrior. Auri will not be able to lift it the way she should, for those before her.

 _I cannot carry the burden_ , is the fear Cole hears screaming inside her panicked heart. She is hurting, will hurt, more, it’s been festering, the way she acts so playfully to mask that she is afraid to face the severity of her new reality head-on. Her decisions didn’t matter before, her pranks and playfulness and laziness, _she didn’t matter before the Anchor_ , Cole hears, and then he hears Corypheus’ words echoing in her memory.

_“You are a mistake.”_

_It’s too much, too heavy. I can’t_.

Invisible, he helps her lift it.

“You _can_ ,” he whispers, but when she turns her head, she sees nothing.

When Cole lets go of her hand, Auri keeps the sword in the air, and it only briefly wavers.

* * *

A week goes by and Skyhold is still being cleaned up, repaired, put to good use. It’s starting to be _lived in_ again, and it feels warmer than before, filling with life and hope. Cole spends his time near the infirmary the most, doing what he can to help the wounded and the sick, but he wanders about all of Skyhold to listen to all the residents’ hurts, doing whatever he can to ease the pains he detects.

The Inquisitor still wears her cat-like smile everywhere she goes, small and promising mischief, eyes twinkling. But she no longer feels so helpless.

Auri will learn to be strong like her advisors, her companions.  

Cole is happy, because he knows he has helped.

He doesn’t properly speak to her again until she is confronted with the choice of sending him away, or keeping him here with the Inquisition. When she remembers him, she needs a moment for her memory to adjust, but she defends him- even vehemently, from the others- and comes to speak with him.

She knows now what he is, but her warmth has not faded, her kindness is not withdrawn. In fact, she is curious, fascinated even, welcoming.

“Give him a chance,” Auri says about the dying soldier. Cole decides that he could follow the Inquisitor, if they are a kind leader. He wants to help, and he says so.

“Look me in the eyes and say it,” Auri insists.

Cole is stunned, then confused, but looks away from the solider and into her eyes to say, “I want to help. Let me help.”

Auri beams at him. “Okay. You be good,” she says playfully, patting his arm. Her words confuse Cole, and he tilts his head slightly.

“Why would I be anything else?” he asks, and Auri laughs, a swell of affection rising in her heart.

“Oh, it’s a saying, Cole. Sometimes people need a reminder.”

Auri is being playful, casual, but Cole takes her words to heart. “Yes,” he says in response. “I think I understand.” She wrinkles her nose again, confused by how seriously he seems to be taking it, before giggling and leaving.

 _Cute_ , he hears again. It still confuses him to hear it. No one calls him cute.

He decides not to dwell on it- after all, he has many things to do, in this busy stronghold filled with people and filling with more by the day. More people, more hurts and pains and people who need his help. Cole goes to do his work, and Auri returns to inform her inner circle that Cole is now a _part_ of that circle- and Cole feels the first inklings of belonging.

If only he could get the others to stop being afraid of him, it would be a lot easier to belong.

He pushes down the negative emotions bubbling in him, and focuses on helping. The scullery maids in the kitchens, a dying soldier, a wounded one, squabbling men, infirmary nurses and healers. Helping helps them, helps _him_ , it’s good, keeps the help moving around and the hurt eased and soothed away. It’s the life he’s become accustomed to, his attempt at atoning for past mistakes, along with fulfilling what he thinks is his purpose: help. He is Compassion, and he is glad to have a place where he can do so much.

The Inquisitor brings a warmth to Skyhold, whose walls used to be cold.

She is a little more serious now, studying intently and learning all she can from every last one of them- although Josephine tends to take up most of Auri’s time, teaching her of the human world, of The Game, of manners and customs and _songs_. Auri loves the songs most, and she sings songs both elven and human, teaching her own elven songs to anyone who might want to learn them.

Auri makes a friend of Maryden in the tavern, and Cole listens sometimes as Maryden teaches Auri to sing the songs with her, even trying to teach her to play the lute and a few other instruments they manage to scrounge up. Auri shows off her ocarina then, her little elven instrument, and happily plays it for a full tavern, and Maryden strums and sings a harmony.

Cole feels the warmth that the music brings the tavern’s patrons, and smiles a little down at the ground floor.

Sometimes Auri looks up and smiles at him, remembering, seeing, knowing. When she waves, Cole is always surprised, and waves back. Over time, he grows accustomed to this, to her smiles, her little acknowledgements, and he starts to learn what it’s like to be remembered, to have people (even if it’s just the Inner Circle) who can speak of him when he is not there, who want to see him, _can_ see him, even when they aren’t hurting and don’t need him.

It’s different, scary, but Auri encourages him to let those important people see him.

“It’ll be good! You won’t make friends if you keep making people forget,” Auri insists with a little huff, hands on her hips. Cole supposes the stance is meant to make her look more intimidating, but Auri is small, and pretty, and it doesn’t work very well when she is pouting.

“I had friends, once, but I lost them when I found out what I was.”

“But we already know what you are, Cole. It can’t hurt to let them see you, right? And besides, if anyone says anything mean, I’ll kick their butt.”

“How does that help?” he asks, befuddled, and Auri laughs again, rocking back and forth from her heels to her toes.

“It doesn’t, not really. But it makes _me_ feel better. I want to hit people when they’re cruel to my friends- don’t you?” She is clear, plain, explains things thoroughly, even her own thoughts. She accommodates him, humors his curiosity, and she is patient, always, watchful and gentle. Cole appreciates the clarity, the way Auri does not dislike his readings, or discourage his attempts to help people. In fact, she is more curious than anything, encouraging, wanting to see what kind of person he is.

And she’d asked another question like that, questions that made him have to evaluate himself, his own heart, core. But he admires her, and so, he answers.

Cole considers the question for a moment, and his response is soft.

“Yes.”

Auri’s smile is still there, but her blue eyes are more concerned now than mischievous.

She gently, slowly lifts the hat from his head, and he looks at her in confusion, exposed.

“ _Soft, quiet, gentle, worrying, kind_. You don’t have to worry. Thank you,” Cole says to her, and Auri hums him a melody as she reaches up to stroke his hair. It’s long and unkempt and could use a trim, she thinks, but she laughs a bit at herself for thinking so.

“Of course I have to worry,” Auri laughs, and Cole looks confused, heart on his sleeve.

Auri just smiles at him, that cat-like smile.


	3. The Box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Auri starts a bit of silly mischief with a box amidst the bustle of work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a few references to party banter throughout this fic, so kudos to those who notice them. Also, I'm posting this fic on my tumblr blog, agirlnameddisaster, too! Just in case anyone wants to check me out there or ask questions about the fic.

Auri is more serious now, or so people say, but Cole still sees her chasing cats in the morning, over rooftops and battlements and through buildings.

She is full of exhilaration when she does it, and joy when she catches a ball of fur on four paws. Warmth when she pets the cat and feels it purr as it relaxes and grows to trust her. There are many cats in Skyhold now, mousers to keep the castle free of them and their food stores safe, and that means more cats for Auri to play with and chase. (Mila has made herself at home in Auri’s room, in the high tower.) It also means more cats to swat at Cole’s feet.

Cole notices that Auri tries to help people, sometimes, like he does, except most of the time her solution involved either food or cats. 

It’s strange to him, because both things seem like solutions to different problems, things that aren’t meant to soothe the pains that those people have, and yet… It helps them. A cat makes a worrying wife smile and coo and kneel down to stroke soft, comforting fur. A grumpy soldier feels his anger dulled after having consumed a sweet pastry. A sweet makes a soldier in pain forget, just for a moment, about his wounds, lets him savor something else.

They are not curing the pains, resolving them, no, not like he does. But they soften. They soothe and distract and calm until the person can solve their own pain, or until the pain passes on its own, and Cole thinks it’s amazing.

Confusing, but a brand new way to help. 

“You’ve done odd things,” Auri observes more than accuses, and her eyes sparkle with approval and mischief more than the disdain he would expect from other people. “What’s going on?”

And so, eager, he explains the way _he_ helps, and she smiles, bright-eyed and encouraging.

With every puzzle she solves, her heart glows and he feels the affection rolling in waves off her, and she reaches up to pat his head. She approves of this, his ways of helping, and it makes him feel relieved to know that he’s wanted at Skyhold, that the Inquisitor thinks he is doing well.

“Why do you do that?” Cole asks one day, after Auri finishes patting his head, ruffling his hair a little.

“Hm? Do what?”

“You touch my hair, gently. Tussle it, sometimes,” Cole points out. Auri laughs. “Even though you have to reach high, or pat my hat instead.”

“It’s a way to show someone approval. My Keeper used to do it to us when we did well. I try to do it for everyone, but some of the others are too tall for me to reach,” she laughs. “I should start bringing a little stool places to help me reach things. Or maybe just a sturdy little box.” 

Cole hasn’t considered it much before, but the elven woman is rather small. He has to look down to speak to her, and most people seem unimpressed by the Inquisitor when they meet her, until they learn of the powerful magic she wields.

“You are very short,” he observes, and Auri just smiles at him, with no real emotion behind it. It’s a neutral curve.

“Yes, Cole.”

“I hadn’t noticed before. It bothers you,” Cole says next, and Auri’s pale cheeks go pink.

“Cole…”

“Why?”

“It’s not very good to be so small when you’re constantly surrounded by huge, powerful warriors. Most of which are trying to kill me,” Auri says, the upward quirk to her lips seeming permanent. Cole wonders if that’s just how her lips are, with a natural upwards turn. He is only momentarily distracted by that possibility.

“But your barriers are strong,” Cole says, “And you don’t let them touch you. You blast them back.”

Auri looks away. “But one day I might not be able to push them back. And I’ll be too small to fight like they do, in close combat.”

Cole detects a small pang of fear in her chest.

“I will protect you.” Cole’s face is serious when he says it, gaze firm. “I won’t let them hurt you. And the others, they want to protect you, keep you safe, putting you between their bodies- the center of a protective triangle in battle. You are not alone.”

Auri relaxes then, and reaches up to pat his head again, and that makes Cole relax, too. He bows his head a little so she has an easier time reaching it.

“Thank you, Cole.”

_Sweet_ , Cole hears her think, but he doesn’t understand how he can be like sugar.

* * *

When Auri wakes up one morning to find a sturdy little box on her bedside table, about a foot long at each edge, Auri laughs so hard she can’t breathe, and her guard rushes in to make sure that the wheezing wasn’t anything dangerous.

“Inquisitor?” the guard asks, looking confused. “Er, good morning. We heard… well, are you alright?”

Auri is still in her fit of giggles, and gestures to the box, as if that is explanation enough. She relishes the befuddlement and confusion on the guard’s face before she wipes a mirthful tear from her eye and says, “Yes, yes- I’m fine. Just- just. The box.”

“…alright, Inquisitor,” the guard says slowly, and he leaves, wondering if he should even bother to log the odd event into his log when his shift is over. (He does, and the odd story starts making its rounds about Skyhold.)

* * *

When Auri goes to the war table after dressing (in something more modest that Cassandra has insisted she wear) and getting breakfast, Cullen reads a report in his hand and raises an eyebrow.

“Inquisitor,” he calls.

“Call me Auri,” she replies, in a way that suggests she’s said it several times before (and she has).

“… _Auri_ , then,” Cullen sighs. “I have an unusual report-“

“Is it about the box? Because I’m not going to explain that,” Auri chirps, that smile on her lips, mischief in her eyes. 

“Right, of course not,” Cullen responds on an exhale, exasperated. The Inquisitor had his respect, for she was a brave and powerful woman, but he has to be honest with himself. Sometimes, the Inquisitor drives him up the walls with confusion, frustration, embarrassment, or just plain worry. But he can’t help but admit he’s still fond of her- as is most of the Inquisition.

“Box? What’s this about a box?” Leliana asks, before leaning over to read the report in Cullen’s hand. Soon enough, Josephine is there beside them, and by the time they finish reading the report, both of them look both confused and incredibly curious.

“You were laughing… at a box?” Josephine asks, slowly, trying to make sure she hasn’t somehow missed something. Auri simply nods and smiles, close-lipped and cat-like.

Leliana’s eyes narrow and Auri’s eyes twinkle with mischief.

“A challenge, then. By the end of the week, I’ll discover what it is about that box that’s so interesting,” Leliana says.

Josephine laughs. “Leliana! Betting now? Over a _box_?”

“Auri certainly seems to be looking for a game. Why not? It gives us something to do. A little exercise for my newer recruits,” Leliana hums as she moves a few pieces about on the war table. 

“So, if you win, Leliana?” Auri practically purrs, leaning onto the table with little regard for the pieces just placed on it.

“If I win, then you must attend the dance lessons Josephine has been insisting you take.”

Auri looked scandalized. “No!”

“Afraid you’ll lose, Inquisitor?” Cullen hums, a smirk on his lips. Auri puffs herself up.

“I’ll do it. But if _I_ win, then I want Cullen to take the lessons with Leliana,” Auri says back, pinning Cullen with a mischievous smile that only grew wider as she sees Cullen squirm.

“Why am I being dragged into this?” Cullen says, and Leliana laughs.

“Auri, I am already capable of dancing,” she says, but Auri grins.

“Oh, I know, but I’m willing to bet that _Cullen_ isn’t,” Auri says smoothly, happily, far too sweetly.

Cullen is suddenly the center of attention and the three women are all looking at him, slow smiles spreading over their faces- and their gazes all promise trouble for him.

“Maker’s breath, _no_. I refuse to be part of this,” Cullen says, face red, folding his arms over his chest. 

“Afraid you’ll lose, Commander?” Auri echoes back at him, with a bat of her lashes, and Cullen pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I deserved that,” he groans. “Fine. Fine! I’ll be part of your ridiculous wager. Can we please move on to the reason we’re actually here?” He’s flustered, to say the least, and Auri reaches over to pat his arm.

“Oh, don’t be so gloomy. It’s all in good fun, isn’t it?” Auri chirps up at him, and Cullen sighs and avoids her bright-eyed gaze, trying to will away the pink burning on his cheeks.

“Yes, yes. Now, about the scouts we sent out a few days ago…”

* * *

“ _She bats his lashes at him, and he feels weak, too weak. He scolds himself for it_ ,” Cole hums in greeting when Auri approaches him, and Auri just tilts her head at him before laughing a bit. “You laugh a lot,” Cole says next. “When you are confused, or nervous, or scared. Especially when you’re happy, but also when you’re pained. Why?”

Auri blinks, surprised. “Mm, I don’t know myself. I heard that laughing can help calm or cheer yourself when you’re stressed. Kind of like smiling does. Oh, but speaking of laughter…” Auri smiles. “The present you left me got a lot of it out of me.”

“You laughed?”

“I can’t believe you actually went and found a box, let alone a box that size. Who even makes a box so small?” Auri laughs. “Oh, but shh, shh!” She suddenly pulls him down, gently, a hand on his shoulder to urge him to hunch down so she can whisper to him. “You can’t tell anyone about the box. Or what it’s for, at least not for a week.”

“Why?” he asks, as he leans down slightly, his wide-brimmed hat shielding their faces from view, _just_ in case someone was trying to read their lips.

“I made a bet with Leliana, and it’s important that she doesn’t find out in any way for a week.”

“ _Wagers, don’t want to dance like the humans. It’ll make a fool of me_ ,” Cole picks up, and then he hums. “I think I understand. A game to avoid something unpleasant, embarrassment. You think you won’t be able to learn.”

“Cole! Shhh!” she urged, suddenly pink. “Don’t let anyone hear.”

“Oh! Yes. Sorry,” Cole says, quiet now, whispering with her. She laughs and smiles, and leans against his side playfully a moment before she goes.

“I have to get back to meeting with the others about things, but I’ll come back later. Remember! Secret!” she says, excited, before she descends the steps down into the tavern.

A game, then. Cole keeps his lips sealed- and as he goes around Skyhold, helping, and he hears how the fortress is abuzz with speculation and rumors over the box already. Everyone wants to know, curiosity blinking in their minds, and Cole is intrigued by the way Skyhold is so invested in one odd little box. Hearing their speculations is interesting- _fun_ , even. He feels strangely happy listening to all the ideas everyone seems to have about the odd little box, because _they_  are happy too- it has become a game for everyone.

He hadn’t expected something so little to become something so big.

He had done all this with a box?

In the kitchens, the maids were gossiping excitedly.

“Perhaps someone stole the Lady Ambassador’s underclothes again? And sent it to the Inquisitor this time?”

“No, no, it must’ve been some sort of letter in the box. “

“Or maybe a rather interesting figurine.”

“Oh, no, but could you imagine if it was a…?” And Cole saw an odd gesture he could only understand as vulgar from the thoughts in her head, but the women began to giggle and whisper and hush each other.

“Hush! You’re terrible! It couldn’t be!” One squeaked with laughter.

"You'll get us scolded, oh Maker!" Another stifled her giggles.

“But if it was? The Lady Inquisitor seems to have a good sense of humor.”

Even in the castle’s main hall, there were rumors.

“Place your bets, come on- there’s got to be a story coming out about this sooner or later,” Varric laughs to Dorian, who only grins.

“My dwarven friend, you have accumulated quite the pot.” Dorian leans against the little table Varric uses for the very purpose of collecting bets.

“Yeah, well, people love intrigue. This is so ridiculous, I couldn’t even use it as fiction in a book.”

“Unless you write about the Inquisitor, that is,” Dorian quips, and Varric grins.

“Another tale to follow that of the Champion. Sounds like a good idea, Sparkler.” Varric hums to himself before scribbling down a few notes, and getting back to the many servants and soldiers passing by asking about the betting pool. When Varric notices Cole watching curiously, he startles slightly. “Kid! Don’t just lurk there like that, you nearly scared the pants off me. Looking to make a bet?”

“A bet?”

“You know, about the box.”

“I wouldn’t know what to do with the gold if I won,” Cole admits, perusing the lists and tabs of bets Varric has spread over the table. 

“Anything you want, kid. Buy yourself some new daggers. A new hat, maybe,” Varric laughs. “There’s a lot you could do with a pot this size. You wouldn’t believe how many people are interested in this whole thing, and Snowflake’s keeping her mouth shut on this one. Won’t even give us a hint!”

Dorian suddenly perks up. “Oh, but Cole… you could find out for us, couldn’t you? The way you can see into minds, that would be useful here.”

“Oh. Auri asked me not to,” Cole says, and Dorian curses under his breath.

“Clever woman,” Dorian says in a good-natured huff.   


“Looks like Snowflake got to him first,” Varric says, shaking his head in amusement. “Should’ve figured. Ah well, I’m sure it’ll come out by the end of the week.”

* * *

And it does, in fact, get out by the end of the week.

It happens the first time Auri takes him out on a mission with her since arriving at Skyhold- about two and a half weeks later. It is Auri, Cole, Sera, and Cassandra together with the goal of exploring some nearby ruins and seeing if a certain artifact of value may still be there. It’s a day’s trip from Skyhold, luckily not as far as it could have been, but even so, Auri is constantly having to step between Sera and Cole so that Sera doesn’t throw any more verbal abuse at him.

Auri likes her Inner Circle, she does, but she feels angry twists in her chest when they are cruel to Cole. _Next time_ , she thinks, _I’m bringing Varric and Solas_.

But the topic eventually comes to the box.

“So, all this mess about a box,” Sera grins. “You playing a trick? Let me guess, there is no box?”

“Oh, no, there’s really a box,” Auri laughs, grinning back. Cassandra only rolls her eyes.

“Everyone is blowing it completely out of proportion. I’m convinced that there is absolutely nothing interesting about that box,” Cassandra says. “If I had to hazard a guess, the Inquisitor simply laughed to start this whole debacle.”

“But you put a bet on it,” Cole suddenly interjects, making Sera flinch slightly and glare at him for startling her. “You guessed that there was a clumsy love letter in it.”

“I did no such thing,” Cassandra immediately denies, cheeks red.

Auri just beams at her, looking far too delighted. 

“So, box or not box, it’s still a trick, yeah? The week’s almost up,” Sera adds, before running her hands over the patterns on the ruins’ walls. “So what’s the bet?”

“If I win, Cullen has to take dance lessons with Leliana and I get to watch,” Auri says, and Sera lights up.

“Cullen? He’s got two left feet, does he?” Sera looks thrilled with this information. “Oh, I’d love to see that, him stumbling around.”

“Feel free to come watch,” Auri laughs. “I’m not far from winning. Just another day to go.”

But as they venture deeper into the ruins, Auri realizes that she’s having trouble getting through the tunnels and crevices.

“Ugh… they’re getting smaller and smaller.”

“Move aside, I can fit,” Sera says, pushing Auri out of the way.

“But I’m smaller than you are!” Auri huffs, before letting Sera crawl through the little tunnel ahead of them, only to hear a thud after a minute.

“ _Shite_!” Sera’s voice echoes from within the cavern, and the rest of the party realizes after a moment that… Sera sounds as if she fell quite deeply on the other side.

“…Sera?” Auri calls, trying very hard not to smile.

“ _Fucking shite!_ It’s a drop-off! It’s deep on the other side, I can’t get back up! _Fuck_! Someone throw me a rope!” Sera’s frantic voice comes from within the small passage, and Auri lets herself laugh.

“At least look around and tell us if anything’s in there,” Auri calls, earning her a few choice curses from Sera.

“I got _something_ , _now get me up!”_ Sera snaps back, and Auri practically purrs before turning to Cole, who is already offering her a length of rope.

“Thanks, Cole,” she says, before crawling into the cavern herself. Cole and Cassandra are holding on to one end of the rope while Auri crawls through and lets the rest of it drop down where Sera can reach it.

“It’s still too high up!” Sera calls, and Auri peeks out of the passage exit to where Sera is standing below.  The rope is just barely out of reach.

“Jump!”

“What do you think I’m _doing_?”Sera shouts back, and keeps trying to reach it, but eventually she just groans and punches the wall.

There is a long silence as they contemplate the situation.

"You should have brought the box," Cole says helpfully after a moment, and Auri absolutely loses it with laughter, the sound echoing from deep in the little passage she was in.

It takes a moment for Cassandra and Sera to get it, but then Sera begins to curse colorfully, flinging stones at the wall until she exclaims, "Are you fucking _serious_? _That's_ what it's for?"

Cassandra looks like she is questioning their entire purpose, especially their leader. "You _cannot_ be serious. An entire week of making such a fuss, and that is all?"

Auri is incredibly giddy, bright-eyed and so happy it makes Cole feel startled. "Exactly!"

Sera now seems to be more upset about the box than her current predicament, spitting out so many curses that Auri was in giggles for far longer than she should be. Cole feels his heart warming, because Auri’s joy feels contagious- the leaping of her heart was strong enough to make his leap, too.

Even Cassandra starts to laugh, dropping her face into a hand in disbelief. “Of all the things…” Cassandra says softly.

They do eventually get Sera out from the pit, by way of Auri using force magic to lift Sera up until she could reach the rope and climb it back up into the passage. Auri had to clumsily shuffle and crawl backwards until she fell out at the entrance with a little squeak, expecting to hit the ground- but Cole is there to gently catch her and put her on her feet.

“Oh! Thank you, Cole,” Auri chirps, bright-eyed, reaching up to pat his head again.

Sera groans as she exited moments after Auri, holding the artifact in one hand. She dusted off the odd trinket, wondering what it was- but, eh, whatever. Mission accomplished, right? Hearing Auri talking to Cole, though, causes her to make a face. “Don’t _encourage_ it, yeah?”

Auri shoots her a look, before leading the way out of the ruins.

* * *

Cole felt it back then, a bolt of anger in Auri’s heart that she quickly quashed with a pout. He feels it every time she hears someone say something unkind to him, and it still surprises him. He feels the same when it happens around Varric, too, the dwarven man being protective of him. Even Solas feels his heart grow cold when he hears the ignorance people spout about Cole.

This protectiveness is something Cole has grown to admire, from them. They want to protect those they care about, and on top of that, they care for him. It makes him feel warmer, more… belonging.

He belongs.

Even Cassandra, Dorian, The Iron Bull and Blackwall start to warm up to him, being friendly after a time. It only seems to be Vivienne and Sera who do not think well of him, but he does try his hardest to assuage their fear, even if it doesn’t seem to be working.

It’s a good feeling, to call them friends, to speak more freely among them.

He speaks a lot when they travel, lots of comments on everything they see, the thoughts and memories of the people and animals and plants and places he picks up on. Auri enjoys listening to him speak, he can tell, and so he feels more welcome to say what comes into his head as they come.

They set up camp by the river and plan to make the rest of the trip back in the morning, and Cole keeps watch since he doesn’t sleep.

Sera falls asleep first, followed by Cassandra- and in her tent, Auri is sleepy but not quite ready to drift off. She is humming herself a lullaby, and Cole listens curiously, hearing the words in her mind even though she doesn’t sing them out loud.

“You could sing it,” Cole says softly from outside her tent, where he is sitting idly by the remains of the fire, just embers in the pit now. “You have a voice that’s like soft chimes on a winter morning. Maryden thinks so.”

Auri is surprised, and goes pink before giggling. “Does she, now...”

“Yes.”

Another laugh. “That was rhetorical, Cole. It’s not meant to be answered.”

“Then why ask it?” Cole asks in return, confused, and Auri keeps giggling softly into her blanket.

“It makes people think.”

“Oh.”

There is another silence, and then Auri sleepily mumbles, “I like her voice too. It’s refreshing, and light. Like… cool water in the summer. It’s very nice.”

Suddenly curious, Cole asks, “Is my voice nice?”

Auri smiles, suddenly remembering the day Cole had asked Dorian if he was handsome. “I think it is,” Auri replies. “It’s soothing, and gentle, and sincere. Your voice is like a balm on pained flesh, calming, quieting, a relief to those in need.” She is mimicking his cadence in an attempt to show him how it sounds.

Cole smiles now, too, feeling happy to know that his voice can be calming. _Like a balm_ , like something that takes away pain, hurt. It feels like very strong praise to him. “Thank you!” he says, a little too loudly considering the fact that their other two companions are sleeping nearby, but Auri just laughs softly again, and hums her lullaby until she falls asleep.

Cole dutifully guards his companions, but soon enough he finds himself humming the lullaby too, passing the time by learning the melody.


	4. Dance Lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The results of the bet are decided.

Auri is surprised to be woken up by Cole, and not Cassandra.

“I think we should probably go,” Cole says, touching her foot by reaching into the tent blindly. “Auri?”

“Mm?” Auri stirred, moving her foot sleepily, away from the tickling touch. “What time is it?”

“The sun is high. Noon,” Cole replies, and Auri suddenly sits up, realizing that she doesn’t hear Cassandra or Sera.

“Where are the others?”

“Sera and Cassandra went ahead. They wanted to make it back before the week was over.”

“Before the week is…” Auri suddenly scrambles out from under the blanket, rushing to get into her armor again. “I can’t _believe_ those two! Sera, I could understand, but _Cassandra_?”

“Cassandra thought it was unwise for Sera to return alone. So I stayed, because Sera is still afraid,” Cole hums, meaning the way Sera still doesn’t trust him. “Also, she intends to do something with the pot Varric has for bets.”

Auri pokes her head out of the tent, pouting. Cole backs away slightly, finding the Inquisitor suddenly quite close- he hadn’t expected her to pop out so suddenly.

“You’re upset with me,” Cole says, and is a bit taken aback. “I’m sorry.”

Auri sighs. “ _Cole_ … they’re going to make me lose my bet by giving Leliana the information she wants!”

“Oh.” He does look a little troubled about it, and Auri’s pout melts away into a wry smile. She reaches out to gently pat him on the head again.

“Don’t worry. It’s fine. I suppose I’ll just have to deal with it and learn to dance like humans do.”

 _Quick to forgive_ , Cole thinks. _Gentle._ It’s not a very important matter, so to be fair, there is not much for Auri to be really upset over. Even so, Cole still finds it a relief when she is no longer upset with him. He doesn’t want to upset the Inquisitor, since he thinks she looks nicer smiling.

“You said that touching my head is for when someone’s done well. But you were upset with me,” Cole says, a question in the words.

“It can be a comforting touch, too,” Auri replies, before stretching and returning to the task of getting her armor on.

“I see.”

“At least they packed up their share of the stuff,” Auri hums, before brushing through her sleep-mussed hair with her fingers until it’s somewhat tidy, and finishing getting dressed. (In the new battlemage armor crafted especially for her- blue, as Cole had suggested.) Cole helps her pack the tent and what’s left, and they move along, back towards Skyhold.

Cole realizes something when they’re about an hour away from the stronghold.

“You’re glad they’re not here,” Cole says. Auri goes pink.

“Don’t take it the wrong way. I like being with them,” Auri laughs. “So don’t tell them I dislike them or anything. It’s just… it’s nice to walk peacefully. Sera usually makes things loud, and Cassandra can be… intimidating.”

“But I am neither?”

“Neither,” Auri reassures, catching the worry in his voice. She smiles a little, laughing softly.

“I’m glad. I don’t want to be intimidating,” he murmurs, remembering those who feared him. The fact that he still has to wipe the memories of those he wants to help is just testament to the fact that most still find him as someone to be feared, someone suspicious, strange, unwelcome. He doesn’t like that feeling- being scary to those he wants to bring comfort to. “I still don’t know how to make them less afraid.”

Auri’s smile becomes more sympathetic, and she reaches out to gently touch his forearm, her hand warm. “I know. I wish I could help, but sometimes it’s better to give people space. They might come around, in time.”

“Vivienne refuses to see me as anything but a demon. I don’t want to be a demon, never again. But she won’t believe.”

“I know,” Auri repeats, softly, understanding. “It drives me up the walls. I wish she’d be kinder to you.”

“You’re upset, when they’re unkind to me. You were angry at Sera, in the ruins.”

“She talks about you like you’re not even a person!" Auri suddenly bursts, a sudden whirlwind of cold air emanating from the ground at her feet before she goes pink, and calms herself, turning her face away.

Cole lights up, though, delighted with himself as he learns something new. “That’s why you smile! Bursting, cold, a chilling blast that’s barely contained in snowy skin-“

Auri goes redder still, the blushing easily noticeable on her pale cheeks. “Yes, yes, okay! You’ve got me! I- ah… well, I still get…” She sighs, fiddling with her fingers as they follow the path. “My magic is strongly tied to the ice, the cold, the water. It gives me wonderful abilities in battle- the way an opponent who touches me will freeze, but…”

“The cold won’t be contained when you’re upset,” Cole completes, and Auri nods, still looking embarrassed. “You lied, before.”

“You must’ve known.”

“Yes.”

“ _Cole_ …” Auri was whining now, redder still. “If you’re going to be digging around in people’s minds for secrets, at least be kind enough to let people know at the start that you know them!”

“I thought people _didn’t_ like it when I let them know I could hear them?” Cole is befuddled, and Auri backpedals.

“Okay, actually- yes, that’s true, perhaps not blurt out those thoughts to everyone, but- for me, it’s easier if you just tell me that you know I’m lying,” Auri sighs. “It’s less embarrassing that way.”

“But it was only a little lie,” Cole tries to comfort her, and Auri buries her face in her hands and sighs again. “That didn’t help,” he notes after witnessing that. He tries to remember how they got on this topic, and as he remembers, he comes up with a solution. He suddenly stops, and takes the Inquisitor by the forearm, pulling her towards him, but gently- and Auri is startled, a jolt running down her spine. 

“You, and Varric, and Solas- you all think of me as a person. You care, so much. Thank you,” he says suddenly, arms around Auri’s small frame. And like that, Cole feels the embarrassment from her lie vanish, instead replaced with surprise and momentary befuddlement. “Even when I say your thoughts out loud, you don’t fear me for it.”

But soon, Auri laughs, if weakly. “You shouldn’t have to thank me for that,” she murmurs softly, arms lifting up to hug him back.  It was a surprise, to be the one hugged first- it was usually Auri initiating the hugs, pestering her companions with all manner of physical contact. Only Dorian and Bull indulged her need for constant contact, the shoulder pats and bumps of the shoulders or playful shoves.

“It didn’t work,” Cole murmurs after a moment, pulling back slightly. “You hurt more, now.”

“No, no! It’s not that- I like hugs! Don’t let go yet, I’ve needed one a while,” Auri insists, laughing now and hugging him tighter. “It’s- just like I said, I shouldn’t have to be thanked for calling you a person. Everyone should acknowledge you as one. It shouldn’t be- it shouldn’t be _unusual_ to, to the point where it deserves thanks. Does that make sense?”

“Oh. Yes, I understand,” Cole says, feeling the emotions playing around in the woman’s heart. “It makes you sad.”

“Doesn’t it make _you_ sad?” Auri mumbles into his chest. “The way some of them treat you?”

“Yes,” Cole admits. “But it’s easier to think of other things. Thinking of it too long… it makes too much noise.”

Auri mulls his answer over a while, before sighing and giving him a little squeeze. She does feel a little better, now- hugs had that kind of effect. Cole isn’t letting go yet either, which Auri is admittedly glad for. Now that she thinks about it, when was the last time she had a good, long hug with someone she trusted? Ever since leaving the clan, since this whole Inquisition mess started, she’d only managed brief ones with her new companions, perhaps now and then a longer one in the celebration after longer battles.

But not like this, not for a long while.

Auri hums contentedly and lets herself relax, head resting on Cole’s chest. It was surprising, to realize just how big Cole was. She’d never really paid it much attention before- yes, she had to reach up quite a bit to pat his head, and he was strong and quick and agile, but it never really came together in her mind before. It never occurred to her that Cole was broad, sturdy, but now that she is being held by him and hugging him back, she could notice it, feel his build in her arms.

“You could probably crush me,” Auri comments after a moment, with a laugh.

Cole tilts his head. “Why would I do that?”

Auri laughs again, harder this time, before pulling back just enough to smile up at him. “It’s an expression, I don’t think you really would. You’re bigger than I realized.”

“Am I?” Cole seems puzzled by this- not by his size, but by the fact Auri somehow had seemed blind to it before.

“Mhm. I’m glad you’re on our side,” Auri says, before finally letting go, and Cole lets go as well. 

He feels a bit lighter, the hug having soothed something in him as well. Auri may not have had contact like that in a while, but- but the more Cole thinks about it, he wonders if he’s ever been hugged back before. He came to be in this world by holding a dying mage’s hand, and since then, he still reaches out, gentle, soft touches, guiding those who hurt towards comfort, to safety.

But those gentle touches, holding hands and hugs meant for comfort, are rarely reciprocated, and quickly forgotten.

Auri had been small in his arms, but her armor was cold, although light. He wondered how she would feel in his arms if she hadn’t been wearing the armor, and imagined that she’d probably be warm, soft. He suddenly wanted to _know_ \- but was distracted, by Auri’s humming as they moved along. It was a new song, not a lullaby, but something bouncy and bright, to pass the time as they returned to Skyhold.

* * *

“I refuse,” Auri chirps cheerily to Leliana when she finally arrives. “The bet was that your _spies_ had to figure it out, but instead my friends had to come and give you the information on a silver platter. It doesn’t count!” She’s insistent, giddy at the loophole, smile on her lips.

“Inquisitor, if I so recall, as long as I had the information by the week’s end, I win,” Leliana laughs. “Are you so afraid to dance?”

Auri shakes her head. “No, no- Josephine, you were there, surely you remember!”

Josephine laughed at this, not even looking up from her clipboard. “Well, the stipulations were quite vague. In the matter of such a dispute, I’d recommend a tie and a compromise.”

“What compromise?” Leliana asks, tilting her head, eyes twinkling. “I do hope it’s still entertaining.”

“Oh, yes. I do believe it would do well for Auri _and_ the Commander to learn to dance,” Josephine says, eyes shining with her own brand of mischief, and Cullen suddenly looks up from the war table.

“What? Can’t we just give the win to Leliana?” Cullen protested.

“Commander, don’t tell me that the idea of dancing with our beloved Inquisitor is beneath you,” Josephine hums playfully, teasing him. Cullen goes pink quickly, and stammers a reply.

“Of course not, that’s not- I mean, that, well- that’s not the issue, I…” Cullen realizes he’s been outplayed and trails off, only to clear his throat and glance aside. “What I mean is, that it would be an honor to dance with you, Inquisitor,” he finishes, more composed this time.

Leliana and Josephine both seem pleased with their victory, and Auri just huffs.

* * *

It’s been a little over a year since Auri got pulled into the Inquisition, and only a few weeks since she’d been made Inquisitor. It was difficult, suddenly adjusting to having a new title, a place of real power and influence in the world. Every choice she makes, every operation she discusses at the war table- all of it is trading and playing with lives and nations, and the weight of the burden makes her feel tired.

To be honest, learning to dance is the least of her problems.

So she takes the lessons, Josephine and Leliana both there guiding Auri and Cullen through their clumsy steps. Auri is more relaxed when she finds that she is only going to be with her three advisors during the lessons- knowing that only three trusted friends will be there to laugh at her mistakes is a comfort.

That is, until the rest of her friends end up crashing the lessons to tease and mess with her. Auri would be mad, but it’s actually more fun with them around, so she can’t complain. Dorian is an excellent teacher, literally sweeping her off her feet to show Cullen how it’s done, and Varric is surprisingly smooth on the dance floor, too, twirling about with Dagna, who was the one to haul him out to dance in the first place. Maryden provides the music, and Josephine gets nudged into dancing with Blackwall by a very persistent Leliana.

Sera’s there just to laugh at people and trip them up, and Cassandra’s trying to thwart her pranks. Meanwhile, Iron Bull just likes watching the animated room, and Cole’s sitting on the table beside him, just observing curiously, narrating the events through the points of view of different people, giving Bull quite the show. Vivienne is offering pointers to Cullen and stepping in as his dance partner whenever someone inevitably pulls Auri into a new dance, and Solas sometimes dances with Vivienne as demonstration. So by the end of it all, Auri’s actually quite glad the lessons happened.

“ _Warm, happy, laughter bubbling up from her core. This isn’t so bad,_ ” Cole reads from her, to Bull, who laughs.

“She wasn’t thrilled about losing the bet?” Iron Bull asks.

“No. She thought she couldn’t learn,” Cole says to him, eyes on Josephine now. “ _Strong, sturdy, reliable. Handsome, surprisingly graceful as he dances_ ,” he says next, and Bull grins. 

“I _knew_ they had something goin’ on.” Bull says, glancing at the pair, before pointing at Varric and Dagna. “What about them?”

Cole’s tone suddenly becomes bubbly, bright- Dagna. “ _So much fun! Dancing with the Inquisitor and her friends- oh, it’s been ages since I’ve danced!”_ And suddenly his tone switches again, more calm, amused and light-hearted but relaxed- Varric. “ _Can’t believe I’m here dancing like the world isn’t ending. My life gets too weird._ ”

Iron Bull laughs, but says, “That’s weird, kid. Cool, but weird.” Cole detects no malice in his words, though, and hums in acknowledgement- he supposes his abilities do seem strange.

He’s surprised by the Inquisitor coming up to him and tugging at his hands.

“Come dance with me, Cole!” she chirps.

“But I don’t know how to dance,” Cole says, matter-of-factly, and Auri laughs again.

“Neither do I, so let’s learn together.”

Before Cole can protest, he’s up and being instructed, and doing his best not to step on anyone’s toes. He’s feeling flustered, exposed, like this, but Solas and Varric are there and encouraging him, even if Vivienne and Sera decide to distance themselves from him and watch him warily. 

Leliana laughs but welcomes the new student, and Josephine has that look in her eyes that means she’s found a new project- possibly teaching Cole more about all the finer details of socializing, too.

Cole accidentally steps on Auri’s foot again, and rushes out a “Sorry!” But Auri just giggles and keeps dancing with him.

“Don’t worry, I’m bad at this too,” she says, before tripping over Cole’s foot and right into his chest. She’s laughing at herself now, pink while Cole catches her, and Dorian makes a comment.

“Don’t swoon, Inquisitor, you might overwhelm the boy,” Dorian laughs, and Auri just giggles before straightening herself up.

“Oh, but it’s fine if I swoon over you, I’m sure?” Auri asks, grinning at him.

“No one would blame you for that, my friend! After all, I am quite nice to look at, if I say so myself,” Dorian says back, a broad smile on his face as he teases back. “And I’m used to the ladies swooning, you see.”

“You giant flirt, you,” Auri chirps back at him, before returning to dancing with Cole.

“You like the flirting,” Cole says to her after a moment. “Because both of you know it’s play, so it’s safe.” Auri nods.

“Yes!” she says with a smile, as Cole clumsily tries to spin her. She giggles as she twirls, and Cole can’t help but smile and laugh a bit too when she stumbles. 

Cassandra’s dancing with Cullen now, Dagna’s managed to somehow coax Sera into dancing, and Vivienne and Solas are gliding across the floor so easily they look ethereal. Iron Bull gets hauled up by Dorian to see if the big Qunari is as good at dancing as he is at _other_ things, and Varric just laughs and watches the lively room and thinks that this would be a good scene for the Inquisitor’s story, if he ever decides to write that book.

As they dance, Cole has the chance to hold Auri close, and just like he'd expected, she was small, and warm, and soft.


	5. Hugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cole figures out the many ways a hug can say so many things.

Cole’s usual haunt is in the tavern, on the highest floor, where it’s empty and he can be out of sight. He likes it there- Maryden sings beautifully, and people are always moving in and out, bringing their hurts and troubles with them. It’s a good place to find people to help, and he enjoys it there. He’s sitting on the crates, filled with old supplies there’s no need for at the moment, listening to the songs from Maryden’s lute, while Auri makes her way up the steps.

He doesn’t look up, but he does greet her with, “ _Icy, but warm_ , _a strange mix, but enthralling. So much power in such a playful woman’s hands_. _I fear for her._ ” Every time Auri comes to see him, Cole gives her another cryptic reading, and she never quite knows who he’s picking the thoughts off of.

“Hello to you too, Cole,” she laughs, sitting down beside him. “You could just say hi.”

“Hi,” Cole offers, looking up at her now, and Auri bursts into a fit of giggles- and Cole smiles.

The Inquisitor is a nice person, he thinks. She’s playful, and bright, and mischievous, but even with the way she seems not to take things seriously, she never toys with people’s lives. She genuinely wants to help, to right the chaos in the world and make things better, to destroy Corypheus before he can do more harm and bring the world to its knees.

He will support her.

* * *

She is normally warm, bright, the opposite of the ice she wields. But when battle comes, she darkens, sharpening to icy blades and wrapped up by cold winds meant to protect those she cares about. She is fierce like a blizzard, enveloped in cold, ice even forming extra armor to protect her as she battles.

But when the dust settles, the ice thaws, and she goes and pats everyone down, face, shoulders, arms, making sure they’re safe, unharmed.  She is warm again, eyes bright, hands gentle.

“You okay?” she hums, hands up around Cassandra’s face before she runs her hands down the warrior’s arms to check for wounds. Cassandra lightly bats her hands away.

“As per usual, I am _fine_ , Inquisitor,” Cassandra sounds exasperated. “If I were wounded, I would let you know.”

Auri immediately spun about to check on Dorian, who only laughed and raised up his arms and let Auri check on him. “Such a worrywart the Inquisitor is.”

“Hey, maybe I just like checking you all out while you’re covered in blood,” Auri laughs, and Dorian gives a scandalized gasp.

“So our Inquisitor loves the blood-covered bad boys! And girls, I presume,” Dorian says, glancing briefly at Cassandra, who tries to ignore them.

“Of _course_ ,” Auri says in return, hand over her heart in melodramatic agreement. “Isn’t there something charming about that?”

“Oh, surely! Nothing more attractive than a man after your life,” Dorian hums, nodding pensively. Cassandra merely rolled her eyes, and Auri grinned at her, which only made Cassandra struggle to keep a smile off her face. Auri’s smile was frustratingly contagious.

“Your turn, Cole,” Auri chirps as she moves on to Cole, checking him all over. Cole lifts his arms cooperatively when Auri comes to check on him, used to the Inquisitor worrying by now- although he is surprised when she gently takes his face in her hands. “Oh… you’ve got a few cuts, too.” Her hand glows, soothing over his cheek, before he feels the skin mending, the stinging wounds fading back into smooth skin. “There.”

“Thank you,” Cole says back, although he sounds a bit faraway, still more fascinated by the way the magic sings around her hand as she uses it to heal. Her touch is warm, despite the way it had been the creator of ice mere minutes before.

“Good! We’re all in one piece then!” Auri says. “Moving along!” With that, she continues trotting ahead, eager as ever to explore new places, complete the objectives they’d set out. 

* * *

Auri is a very proactive person, to Cassandra and Cullen’s relief. Yes, she plays, and jokes, and can be insufferable at times, but she does what needs to be done, and she tries to do it as quickly as possible. She tried going on three missions in a row, once, but Iron Bull had to pick her up by the back of her armor and forcibly drop her in her bed to sleep, while Varric posted guards at her chamber to make sure she didn’t sneak out until she’d gotten some rest.

Regardless, the energetic ice mage was trying her hardest to live up to the ideal that people wanted her so badly to be, and it did weigh on her.

When things begin to weigh on her heart, she starts to go see Cole.

“ _War and weariness, blood and battle. Life, learning to lead: clash, kill. And past that, the weight of all, on you. All the hopes you carry, fears you fight- you are **theirs**_. It must be _very_ hard... I hope I help,” Cole says when she sits down beside him on the crates in the tavern.

Auri’s eyes well up when she hears him say it, and opens her mouth to say something. Instead, all she manages is a weak exhale and a tremble of her fingers before she nods.

“Y-Yes. Yes,” she eventually says, staring at her hands. “Thank you, Cole.” But as the tears keep flowing, she keeps rubbing them away, red-faced from embarrassment.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Cole says gently. “Sometimes, the hurt just needs to come out. It’ll help you heal.”

“I am supposed to be stronger than this,” Auri whispers, voice shaking.

“ _You are the Inquisitor. Powerful, the Herald of Andraste, a holy figure in the eyes of many, my gods don’t matter to them, I must be strong._ But you are Auri Lavellan, first,” Cole’s cadence shifts from frantic- Auri’s thoughts- to calm, his own thoughts. “Bottling the hurt will be what makes you weak, not setting it free.”

Auri leans heavily into his side as she tries not to make too much noise as she cries. “Thank you,” she whispers.

Cole hesitates a moment, unsure of what to do- but he listens to the hurt squeezing her heart, and reaches out, calloused fingers gently wiping away the tears. He wants to reach out to her and hug her, but he’s learned from experience that his attempts at comforting _touch_ tend to surprise at best, or scare at worst. He usually sticks to gently reaching for the hands of the dying and the fearful, nowadays.

But he remembers the first hug, two months ago, that he shared with her, and wonders if now is a good time to try again.

Auri shuts her eyes trustingly when he wipes her tears away, even as more tears come to replace them- and Cole stands, gently pulling her up into a hug. Auri tenses at first, surprised, but she reaches up quickly to hold him tight, burying her tear-stained face into his chest.

 _Warm, safe, strong_ , Cole hears from her heart as she holds him tight. He feels warmer, to hear that- he wants to be the kind of person who can bring others comfort. He holds her tighter, wanting to match the grip she has on him, and feels again just how small she is, compared to him. The Inquisitor is small, and soft, but very strong, he thinks.

He gently rests his chin atop her head and holds her, as long as she needs him to, but not a moment longer. Tight enough, but not too tight, just right, enough to make her feel secure but not trapped. He can sense it, when he’s doing it right, and he holds tight to that information. Her hair is soft under his chin, and he relaxes a little, calming and listening carefully to Auri’s trembling heart as she slowly quiets in his arms.

Auri needed the hug, that firm, strong hug, and Cole is sturdy. He’s a good anchor, she thinks, someone who understands that she just needs a big wonderful hug until she feels better. She also, amusedly, thinks that he may be the only person who would hold her this long- most people get uncomfortable after a hug that lasts longer than five seconds. And, he’s just big and cozy, and generally _pleasant_ to hug. 

When Cole senses that she’s ready, Auri lets go and wipes the last of her tears, before smiling up at him gratefully. “Thank you, Cole. You’re kind.”

“I want to be,” he replies easily, before pausing and reaching up to pat her head. Auri goes pink, surprised, and blinks up at him. Sensing her confusion, Cole says, “You… said that this could be comfort, too.” He means the pat of her hair, and when Auri realizes it, she laughs, bright and surprised.

“Y-Yes, I did, didn’t I…” she laughs, sitting back down on the crates. Cole sits beside her, and they’re quiet a while, until Auri feels curiosity grow in her mind. “Cole?”

“Yes?”

“Will you tell me about your friends? The ones you mentioned before?” She is leaning against his side again, comfortable, and Cole lets her stay there. Her weight against his side is strangely pleasant, and the fact that anyone wants to be close to him like this makes him feel happy.

He is quiet, before murmuring, “His name was Rhys- a mage- and there was a woman, a pretty Templar, named Evangeline…” He begins his story, and Auri listens quietly, intently, eyes warm and bright- but as the story goes on, her eyes become sadder. Cole doesn’t look at her as he tells the story, instead staring down at his feet, absently kicking them back and forth against the crates they’re seated on.

Sometimes, Auri’s hands clench into fists, into her clothes, and at other times her fingers tremble. But Cole keeps speaking, telling her of all of it- of what he did, how befriending Rhys had made him inevitably learn that he wasn’t actually human. How he’d killed the mages just to be remembered and seen, to be acknowledged, how he’d had to kill Lord Seeker Lambert.

How he had to leave Rhys and Evangeline behind. And eventually, of what happened to the Templars to cause their corruption, and their subsequent attack on Haven under Corypheus’ command.

“And then I came to find you,” Cole ends it in a murmur.

Auri is stunned, now, many emotions swirling in her chest in a whirlwind, making her feel unsure of how to proceed. Cole had done terrible things- he had told her as much before, but she had never known the extent of his actions, just how deep the rabbit hole went. She is staring at her hands now, and Cole feels exposed, anxious, a sinking worry in his stomach that he hopes won’t be justified.

“If I start to hurt people again, like that, you have to promise to kill me,” Cole says. “I don’t want to be a demon again.”

Auri nods, a bit shakily. “Y-Yes. I can do that.”

“I’m glad,” Cole murmurs, but he detects hurt, conflict in her heart. “I’ve hurt you.” The words are soft, pained.

Auri whispers. “I just hope I’ll never have to kill you, Cole.”

“Me too.”

* * *

She visits him day after day, sitting beside him on the crates, just to talk to him. She checks on what he’s been doing, who he’s helped, sometimes asks him questions about what it is like to be _him_ , someone who can hear thoughts and hurts and memories and move along them like webs that span the world.

Sometimes he just tells stories of the webs he can pluck at, and she listens, awed and enthralled by the things he can learn or tell through the pains he finds. Other times, he just leans over the railing and points at people while Auri leans beside him, curiously listening to the thoughts Cole broadcasts to her from the tavern patrons.

She is bright, the mark paining her every moment, but she has learned to endure. She is mellow now, calmer, learning like he is- she to lead, he to feel. Sometimes she spreads her fingers as wide as she can, stretching the anchored hand, before clenching them into a fist, just trying to somehow shake off the pain. Once, Cole reached out to take her hand, to trace along the mark, but Auri laughed, his touch ticklish on her palm.

He smiled at the sound, but stopped the tracing, instead just looking at her hand. “It’s very bright, it almost hurts.”

“Don’t look,” Auri murmurs, her free hand reaching up to gently shield his eyes with a giggle. “If it hurts, don’t look at it. I don’t want it to hurt anyone.” But Cole smiles a bit before gently removing her hand from over his eyes. 

“Even if you cover my eyes, I can still see. It shines so bright, I could see it from far, far away. From where the Templars were before they began to march,” Cole says, and Auri listens curiously.

“Really? You can sense it from that far away?”

“I can sense a lot of faraway things. When you screamed in the snow, escaping from Haven. I could hear,” Cole said. “I can hear the hurt of Cassandra’s uncle in Nevarra, when I read his letter, of Bull’s old caretaker far across the sea.”

Auri is wide-eyed and murmurs, “Cole, that’s amazing.”

He goes a bit pink, and looks down at his hands. “Is it?”

“Yes!” she laughs. “I wouldn’t say so, otherwise.”

“Thank you,” he says, and the words are warm, but soft. Auri gives him a hug, a brief one, one so short that Cole doesn’t even have the chance to return it before she’s gone again. She smiles before bidding him a farewell, saying that she has to get back to work.

Cole regrets not having gotten to hug her back, even for just that moment.

* * *

“Varric, how can you tell someone is going to hug you?” Cole asks, sitting near the dwarf as he writes letters- to friends in Kirkwall, he hears.

Varric raises an eyebrow at him. “What makes you ask?”

“When the Inquisitor is about to hug someone, you all can tell. You welcome it, or at least prepare for it,” Cole says. “I don’t know how to tell, not if I’m not listening to her.”

“Oh, Snowflake. That explains it,” Varric says, before returning his attention to his letters. “Well, generally, when someone’s about to for in for a hug, you can see them opening up their arms, and they’ll relax. If they’re happy, they’ll be smiling, eyes lighting up. She’ll look at you, so you know it’s you she’s going to hug, and then her body moves towards you. It’s not so hard to spot, kid,” Varric chuckles. “Just open your arms if you think she might, she’ll probably jump on the chance to hug someone, whether she was actually going to hug you or not.”

Cole starts paying closer attention to people- and he sees that Varric’s right. People will relax before a hug, shoulder moving slightly before the arms actually come up, there’s brief eye contact, and then the embrace. 

Sometimes comrades greet each other with warm, casual one-armed hugs or pats on the back and shoulders. Sometimes, when soldiers return from their missions, their lovers come running, rushing, and leap into their arms. He can feel the leaping, soaring joy from them both as one lifts the other up, spinning them around before bringing them down into another tight embrace. 

But sometimes, soldiers don’t come home, and lovers or family collapse to the ground, weeping, and quaking and agonized. He wants to reach out, rush to them, find a way to soothe the hurt- but usually, before he can move, a friend is beside them, clutching them tight and hugging them. Even if the mourning doesn’t return the hug, their friends rarely let go, just being a sheltering, protective force around them as they cry.

Hugs are so versatile, he sees. They can be welcomes, they can be hellos, goodbyes, comforts, shelters. Sometimes, even just an honest display of love- a tender embrace, or a sweet hold.

So when Auri seals a rift in the field (the third one in two days), exhausted and bloodied after a long battle with demons, and she turns around with a tired smile on her face, and sees that he is closest. (He sees her bleeding, he wants to help-) But instead of dealing with the wounds, she laughs and relaxes, shoulders shifting, and her eyes meet his.

Oh! She’s- This time, he’s ready, and opens his arms just in time for her to leap into them.

“Finally!” she laughs. “That’s the last of them in this area!” She hugs him, even with the hurt searing her wounds, and Cole holds her as long as she wants, only letting go when Cassandra comes to scold her.

“Heal your wounds before celebrating, Inquisitor,” she says, pulling Auri away from Cole to sit the Inquisitor down on a nearby log, so Auri can focus on healing. 

“Not yet- what about the rest of you?” Auri says, reaching out with glowing hands, meant to soothe the pain, heal the hurt, tend to their wounds. “Cassandra, your arm is-“

“ _You first_ , Inquisitor,” Cassandra insists, and Auri falters.

 _Fear swirling, spinning, in her head, seeing the blood from my friends’ wounds. Worry for their pain, heart aches to see them hurt_ , Cole hears, and he wants to soothe the hurt, but he wants the Inquisitor to heal her own wounds, first.

He gently takes a glowing hand from her and guides it to her own wound, and Auri smiles weakly at him before sighing. “Okay, okay. You guys win,” she says, and she heals her own injuries, a slow-going but meticulous process, until the flesh is knit together again.

When she is finished, she expectantly holds a hand out to Cassandra, whose lips quirk upwards slightly before she offers the wounded arm, which Auri set to working on.

“Happy?” Cassandra asks as Auri mends her arm.

“Very,” Auri laughs. “Don’t be mean. Just let me heal you first next time. Blackwall, how are you faring?”

“I’m fine. My armor took the brunt of it. Although, I think I have burns from the rage demon clawing at me,” he says, grunting slightly as he tries to pull off the warped and singed gauntlet from his forearm. 

“I’ll find water for it,” Cole offers, and Auri smiles at him.

“But are you safe, Cole?”

“Yes. I’m not wounded,” he says, and Auri gives him a small look before beckoning him over. He goes, turning about and letting Auri see for herself that he is in fact fine, and when she’s satisfied, he goes to get water.

After some down time, with Auri healing them all, she deems that they’re fit to keep moving, perhaps go back to camp.

“Let’s go back to camp and report in- just to make sure we haven’t missed any last rifts before we move on,” she says. She stands up from her seat- and then instantly goes down.

Cole is the one to catch her before she hits the ground, fast, swift, his abilities making it easy. He gently lowers her to the ground, hand moving over her cautiously.

“Inquisitor!” Cassandra calls, the next to be at their side, Blackwall following after.

“Tired, worn, overextended. She will be okay,” Cole says after a moment, before lifting her up. “The Anchor pains her, drains her, when she uses it.”

“And the battle only added more strain to her,” Blackwall adds, nodding solemnly in understanding. “She’s a reckless girl, using the last of her energy to heal. We could’ve been tended to at camp.”

“No,” Cole says, “She is kind.”

Cassandra hums, a sigh of relief. “Let us get back to camp, then. Auri will need her rest.”

“I can carry her, Cole,” Blackwall offers, but Cole gives a small shake of his head.

“No.”

Auri is small enough that any of them could have easily carried her, but Cole protectively takes up the task, and Cassandra and Blackwall share a glance, but do nothing more.

They do not trust him with the Inquisitor yet, despite how they are warming to him. Cole wants to prove he means no harm, and so, he dutifully carries the Inquisitor back to camp and gently lays her down in a tent for her to rest, before sitting nearby. He is protecting, guarding. He doesn’t need to sleep, not like them, so he can protect them all. Auri admitted to him once that it was why she preferred bringing him on the longer missions- no one had to sacrifice sleep, this way.

* * *

When the Inquisitor wakes, it’s in the late hours of the night, with the moon still high up in the starry sky. Too bad she couldn’t see any of it, considering she was in her tent, and it was also raining. Rain had been what woke her up- she could hear the noise of it hitting her tent, and worried that the moisture would seep in until she remembered that these tents were built to deal with the rains of the Storm Coast.

When did she get in her tent, anyway?

“You fell after healing us,” Cole’s voice startles her and answers her unspoken question, from outside her tent. “You were exhausted. I carried you back.”

Auri laughs. “Oh. Sorry about that,” she says, the smile in her voice.

“Laughter, making it less serious. But it _is_ serious,” Cole adds, stern now, if it can become that. Auri is surprised to hear it.

“Are you scolding me?”

“Yes. No? I’m not sure,” Cole replies. “I’m not angry, no, different- worrying. Please be careful,” he ends it with, and Auri’s heart warms a bit.

“I’m sorry, Cole. I didn’t mean to worry you all.”

“It’s alright.” Cole’s voice is bright as ever, reassuring. Auri smiles into her pillow, ready to sleep, until…

Wait, it’s raining.

“Cole!” Auri suddenly hisses, reaching out and pulling him into her tent. He’s already soaked, and Auri sighs at him and takes his face in her hands. “ _Cole_ … please don’t sit out in the rain, you’ll get sick. Look, you’re soaking wet…”

“I don’t think I can get sick,” Cole chirps helpfully, and Auri laughs.

“Yes, well, let’s not test that theory. Hold still, I can draw the water from your clothes.”

Cole laughs softly as she does it, watching the little droplets and tendrils of water pull out from his clothes and form a neat, tidy ball of water in Auri’s hand. “The magic is giggling, wisps are playing. They’re very happy,” he says, smiling at her, and Auri giggles.

“Is that so? Does it always sound like that?” 

“No, not always. Sometimes it is roaring, fierce and angry and protective. _I will not let them hurt_ ,” Cole says. “But when you do the little things, like this, things that magic makes easy, they feel happy. Moving things around from across the room, starting a fire with magic instead of a tinderbox, drying clothes with magic instead of by the sun. They’re happy to help, to make things easier.”

“Like you?” Auri asks, lips quirked. “Helping.”

Cole goes a bit pink. “Yes, a little. I help differently, though.”

Auri dries him off, and tosses the ball of water out of the tent and into the rain. She reaches up and gently pats his now-dry hair. “And I’m glad you do,” she murmurs. “But- humor me, and stay in here until the rain stops. I’d feel better knowing you weren’t all cold and wet.”

“Okay,” Cole says, watching as the Inquisitor settles back down and pulls the blanket back up over her body to keep her warm. She falls asleep easily, trusting him, and that fact surprises him. Not many trust him, and even those that do would not likely still trust him to guard them like this, within their tent as they sleep.

He remains alert, constantly listening for any signs of danger, even from within the tent as it rains. His priority is to ensure no danger befalls his companions.

But he’s happy to help in little ways too, like the wisps- so when Auri shivers in her sleep, he tugs the blankets up to cover her more.


	6. Twisted Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cole delves further into Auri's memory and finds something unpleasant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know it's possible for your Inquisitor to be struck by lightning? It's happened to Auri like ten times. Not that it ever does anything in-game, but in reality that would probably kill most people.

Auri wakes up to the ever-present pain in her hand. She has closed the Breach, but the limb still pains her. It doesn’t hurt as much as it used to, now dulled to an ache, but even so, she wonders if the pain will ever fade. She knows now at least what it’s called, what it is: the Anchor, something Corypheus meant to use for his own purposes to tear the Veil open as he pleased.

But it was hers now. Even if it kills her, at least it means Corypheus doesn’t have access to it.

“I hope it doesn’t kill you,” Cole suddenly says, snapping Auri out of her sleepy reverie. She blinks up at him.

“I hope it doesn’t, too. You’re still here?”

“It’s still raining,” Cole responds, and after a moment of listening, Auri realizes he’s right. 

Laughing softly, she mumbles, “I suppose we’re going to be travelling in the rain, then. I’ll keep us all dry. After we get some more sleep…” She nuzzles into her blanket and gives a sleepy sigh, and Cole turns his head slightly, as if distracted by something outside.

He tenses, and Auri follows suit, alarmed.

“ _Corrupt, twisted, dark and winding. A distorted song_ ,” Cole murmurs. 

“Red Templars,” Auri breathes, and sits up, reaching for her armor and starting to get it back on. “Which way, Cole?”

“Down the coast. Into the darkness, sea crashing against time-worn caverns. Far enough from camp that they can’t see us,” Cole murmurs. “But I hear them marching.”

“Let’s scout them out, first,” Auri murmurs, adjusting her armor before pulling up her hood. Her battlemage armor is a deep blue that matches her eyes, her hood hiding her face from most until she chooses to make herself known to them. Her pointed ears are perked and alert, listening to anything that may be a threat- even though Cole hears more than she ever could.

Auri slips out of her tent and Cole dutifully follows. “Show me the way,” Auri says, and Cole pauses.

“We should wake the others.”

Auri is quiet a moment, before she nods. “Right, yes…”

“Your mind is hazy still,” Cole murmurs. “It’s hard to hear you clearly.”

“I’m just tired still,” Auri admits, with a little laugh, before going to wake Cassandra and Blackwall. She explains the situation, and the two warriors are quick to prepare and arm themselves before following Auri out.

Auri uses a spell to shield them all from the rain, but Cassandra insists that she save her magic for battle- for there will inevitably be one, once they find the Red Templars.

“Besides, we do not want to risk detection before we even enter the caverns,” Cassandra adds, and Auri sighs and drops the spell, letting the pouring rain from the storm.

“I didn’t want to risk you getting sick,” Auri mumbles, slightly put-out, but she sees their point.

“We can handle the cold and rain,” Blackwall says gruffly with a nod. “There’s no need to waste the energy. After all, if we’re soaking wet, you can use that to our advantage later.”

“Oh! Yes, ice armor. Good thinking,” Auri hums, and the usual cat-like smile returns to her face as she leads the way down the slope, along the coast- careful and guarded. It is the early morning, or so she thinks- it’s hard to tell, with the darkness of the storm looming over them, battering them with rain and blocking out any trace of sun.

As they slip through the trees, lightning continues to batter the land, but luckily any fires it manages to ignite are quickly quelled by the pouring rain. Even so, Cole sees lightning coming and grabs the Inquisitor by the arm, fiercely and suddenly pulling her towards him, making Auri gasp and fall into his arms.

Cassandra is about to ask what is happening, when lightning strikes the spot the Inquisitor had been standing moments before.

Auri is startled, serene smile gone from her lips for a moment as she stares at the scorched patch of earth, before she lets go of Cole. (She hadn’t realized she’d been clutching at him in her surprise.) 

“Oh,” is all she breathes, shaken, and from then, she sticks terribly close to Cole. “Thank you, Cole,” she murmurs when she finds her voice again, before shuddering. “Creators,” she curses under her breath, before shaking her head to try and rid herself of the jumpiness, and marching forward. There is a smile on Auri’s lips once more, absent-minded and empty as ever, but Cole can tell she is tense.

_Terror tremoring through her skin, a smile in an attempt to soothe herself. ‘I nearly died- to lightning and not men or monsters.’ Safety, warmth in strong arms._

_Oh._

Cole catches the way the Inquisitor goes pinkbefore she shakes it off and relaxes.

They find their way to the caverns, and look in to find red lyrium- they all feel uneasy around it. Cole especially becomes rather fidgety, obviously aching to destroy every crystal he sees, but they know that the first goal is to clear the caverns of Templars. Auri giggles softly as they go deeper into the cavern, and Cassandra and Blackwall know by now not to bother asking why the Inquisitor finds this all so delightful.

Cole hums a little to himself, glad to feel the Inquisitor’s delight- she’s always happy in places like this.

When they find the Red Templars, the party launches a sneak attack- one that quickly grows into a full-blown siege as more of the Templars hear the chaos and rush out to engage them.

When they are surrounded, Auri is giggling, bouncing in delight, and a Templar has the gall to ask her, “What do you think is so _funny_ , Inquisitor? We’ve got you surrounded!”

Auri grins, delighted that he asks. “This place is _filled_ with water,” she replies.

“What?” the Red Templar leader asks, befuddled. “Are you insane?”

Blackwall and Cassandra stand back-to-back, Cole close by in a tight group with the Inquisitor, all of them knowing what’s coming.

“There is _so much water_!” And it’s a delighted, bubbling laugh from the Inquisitor’s lips, before ice erupts from the ground at her behest. “Ahahah!” She runs, water turning to ice under her feet that she uses to her advantage- she launches ice at her opponents, skids and slides gracefully over frozen ground, raises up icy walls and impales soldiers on ice spikes. A blizzard rages in the caverns as she waves her hands, and Cole, Cassandra, and Blackwall take advantage of the wintry chaos to take down Templar after Templar.

Two strong warriors and an otherworldly rogue make for a deadly team when combined with a powerful mage. 

When the battle ends and the Templars lay slain, the blizzard comes to a close, and Auri breaths a deep sigh of contentment. “Ooh, that was fun,” she laughs, bouncing a bit before playing more with the water and ice around her.

“Remind me again, how _you_ became First to your clan,” Cassandra asks, in mild amusement, as she brushes snow off of her armor and out of her hair. Blackwall is doing the same, although even his beard was covered in the white snowflakes too. Cole doesn’t bother to shake the snow off of his hat, but Auri reaches up to brush it off the wide brim anyway.

“Oh, I was a terrible First,” Auri laughs. “I never took anything seriously enough, or so Keeper Deshanna said. I liked playing with my magic more than studying. But my magic was strongest in the clan, so I was made First. But I’m sure they’ve replaced me by now.”

“You _still_ don’t take anything seriously enough,” Cassandra huffs, although there is a note of good-humor in her voice that makes Auri smile at her. “You made battle look like a game, in those caverns.” Initially, Auri and Cassandra had not been on the best of terms, but after over a year of fighting at each other’s side, it became hard not to form lasting friendships. Auri’s playfulness had initially grated on her nerves, but now it’s a more endearing trait.

Cole remembers. _Laughter, making it less serious, but it **is** serious._ She doesn’t want to let the reality of things crush her, not like it had made her weep in his arms that time ago, in the tavern’s empty attic.

Being serious would be harder on her.

Auri leads the way through the caverns, and they destroy every bit of red lyrium they encounter, looting the place of any important documents and letters and treasures, before they make their way back to camp. They make note of a boat deep in the cavern, but decide not to use it for now. Another time, they will return and explore the island in the distance.

The battle went well for them, and while they are tired, they carry no wounds, the ice having provided ample shield and cover for them all.

With that, they return to camp, and Auri sips tiredly at some lyrium to get her strength back up.

Auri doesn’t mind the downpour, Cole finds. She likes being soaked, even if it chills her. The cold is her ally, after all, embracing her small and curved body like an old friend. Even though her hood covers them, Cole knows that her ears are perked up happily to listen to the rain. The sound soothes her, calms her, can ease her to sleep like it had the night before.

But he’s instead distracted by Cassandra’s thoughts, and asks her of Regalyan- to which Cassandra grows more defensive.

“You were thinking about the time you-“ Cole begins, but Cassandra cuts him off.

“Now I’m thinking about something else. Can you guess?”

There is a brief beat of silence before, befuddled, Cole slowly responds, “My hat wouldn’t fit _there_.”

Auri gasps and goes pink before laughing and swatting Cassandra on the arm. “ _Cassandra_! I didn’t think you of all people would be so vulgar! Don’t say things like that to him!”

“I did not say it aloud,” Cassandra says, but Auri swats at her arm again.

“You _thought_ it loud and clear for him to hear!”

“I’ve heard worse,” Cole chirps helpfully, but that only makes Auri laugh more before shaking her head.

“That doesn’t make it any better. I can’t believe it…” Auri says, still giggling, while Cassandra goes a bit red and tries not to make eye contact with the Inquisitor. “I didn’t know you had it in you.”

Cole is about to offer more insight on _other_ interesting thoughts Cassandra has had that are more on the vulgar side, but before he can say anything, Auri grabs his hand. 

“Don’t you listen to her,”’ Auri laughs. “She’s messing with you.”

“Obviously,” Cassandra scoffs, and Auri sticks her tongue out at her.

Cole is more startled by Auri taking his hand than anything else, focusing on how it feels in his- small, slender, crafty, calloused in some places but soft in others. Her hold is friendly, relaxed, and she even swings his hand back and forth a moment- and he feels the little jump of happiness from her heart before she lets go of his hand.

Blackwall chuckles to himself at his friends’ banter, but otherwise doesn’t engage them- it’s still early morning, and the storm has soaked them and will continue to do so, and it’s generally too early to be making too much noise, in his opinion.

In fact, all four of them fall into comfortable silence after that (minus Auri’s soft humming) as they make their way back to camp to prepare for the rest of the expedition.

* * *

When the rain finally ceases and they are dry, Auri says that she’s going to go quietly scout the area some more to ensure she hasn’t missed anything. Their scouts haven’t reported any new rifts, but Auri wants to explore, to see more of the world- it’s one of the things she’s enjoyed most about being part of the Inquisition. She gets to go everywhere, meet all kinds of people, see all manner of amazing and interesting things- and while she’s here, she wants to make sure she sees everything there is to see.

“Are you certain you wish to go alone?” Cassandra asks worriedly.

“I’m sure. I’m just looking around- and I won’t cause trouble. The Blades of Hessarian are around to help, too, if anything gets dangerous,” Auri hums.

“I still don’t entirely trust that band of renegades,” Blackwall comments, arms folded over his chest. “Are you sure about this?”

“ _Yes_! Really. I can take care of myself.” Auri’s smile is ever-present, and with a small wave, she starts her little trip around the area. The Storm Coast is actually quite nice when it’s not storming, which is… rarely, but still, she enjoys her walk.

At least, she would, were it not for the strange sensation of being watched. She would always glance over her shoulder in confusion, but find nothing there, before continuing on her way. Perhaps she’s just getting too paranoid- after so much time with seemingly the entire world trying to kill you, she constantly feels on-edge.

She’s trying to climb up the strange step-stone cliffs of the coast, wondering how they formed, but they’re slippery from the salt-spray mist of the waves crashing onto them endlessly. Her hand loses its grip on one of the stony columns and she falls back, and flails, panicking as she tries to reach for another grip. But instead of landing on hard stones, she falls against a warm body, one that supports her and helps steady her.

“You should be careful,” Cole murmurs from behind her, holding her firm and gently setting her down on sturdier footing. Auri’s instantly relieved to hear his voice, because it’s much more comforting to have an ally grabbing you than an enemy.

“You were hiding from me.” Auri pouts at this as she turns around.

“You wanted to go alone.”

“But I wasn’t alone.”

“But you thought you were,” Cole replies helpfully, and Auri just laughs and lets her forehead fall against Cole’s chest.

“You were keeping an eye on me, hm?”

“Yes.”

“I said I would be fine, Cole.”

“You were falling.”

“And I would’ve healed whatever silly bump I would’ve earned for my clumsiness,” she insists, although she does give him a wry smile. “But thanks for worrying.” But her expression quickly lit up again, and she added, “Oh! Now that you’re here, help me climb up!”

Cole knows full well that she is distracting herself from the weight in her chest, but helpfully lifts the Inquisitor and helps her get up onto the top of the outcrop, where grass has started to grow. She lies down there, relaxing and just looking out over the sea, and Cole climbs up to join her.

“ _Swirling, aching, biting. Heart heavy, poisoning the mirth._ You wanted to be alone because she hurt you. She didn’t mean to,” Cole murmurs as he lies down beside her, belly on the grass as he folds his arms and rests his head on them- although his hat is slightly knocked off in the process.

Auri’s smile fades and she hums. “Can’t hide a thing from you, can I?” she says, for maybe the fiftieth time since they’ve met. “I know Cassandra didn’t mean it,” Auri sighs, pulling her hood down to expose her drooping ears, to feel the sea-salt breeze through her snowy hair. “But still- making a game of battle. She’s not wrong. The only way I can deal with constantly murdering people is to have fun with the magic. It’s not as if I enjoy killing them, I just… enjoy getting to use the magic to do it. Does that make sense?”

“The magic sings so beautifully, even though it brings bloodshed. You love making the music but not what it causes,” Cole says to her, and Auri nods and rolls onto her side to face him.

“Yes. Something like that, anyhow,” she says, another little smile on her lips. “You know, when I first joined the Inquisition, I’d never killed anyone before. Never had to. But then, the Conclave happened… And I got sucked into this mess.”

“ _Stomach roiling, heart clenching and pounding at once, shaking so badly as to fall to the earth. Watching eyes go lifeless- I killed him, I killed him._ You felt sick,” Cole says aloud, and Auri flinches. “He would’ve killed you if you hadn’t done it first,” Cole offers as comfort. It works, if only a little, and Auri sighs.

“But now- now I kill people all the time. Everywhere I go, there’s people trying to kill me.”

“You feel guilty for not feeling guilty. But you shouldn’t be. The Red Templars can’t be saved. The people who want to hurt you, hurt other people, they have to be stopped,” Cole insists, and Auri listens quietly until he finishes, giving herself time to mull over his worlds. “You kill to protect. That’s what makes you different than them,” he offers, as soft comfort.

Auri shuts her eyes slowly and gives a deep sigh.

“…yes, you’re right.”

Cole feels glad, to feel the weight slowly easing from the Inquisitor’s heart.

“Hey, Cole?”

“Yes?”

“If I turn into a monster- like them- will you kill me, too?”

Cole frowns, and doesn’t respond, so Auri lets the subject drop. She expects Cole not to ever reply, but is startled out of her quiet musing by his voice, like venom.

“You will _never_ be like them,” Cole says lowly after a long silence. Auri is startled by his words, but she smiles weakly.

“I hope so.”

She’s startled to feel fingers touching her ears. Her instinctive response is to lash out defensively- _oh_ , the amount of elf-hating pricks who had dared to tug at her ears made her want to slap anyone that touched her ears. But before she can do anything, the touch is gone, and Cole is looking startled and apologetic.

“I’m sorry,” he says quickly. “I didn’t know.”

Auri calms herself and sighs. “What did you touch them for?”

“They were moving. I’d never noticed it before. Sera’s move sometimes, and Solas’ ears are stubborn and still. But yours move often, hidden under the hood,” he explains, and Auri relaxes, smiling. Of _course_ Cole hadn’t meant anything bad by it- he was just curious.

“It’s okay, you can touch them. Just warn me first.”

“Because you usually want to hit people that touch them without asking,” Cole observes, and Auri laughs.

“Yes, that’s right.”

Cole’s fingertips are soft even if the rest of his hands are calloused, gentle on her pointed ears as he curiously watches them twitch. He doesn’t dare handle the ears too roughly- and Auri finds it adorable how he handles her ears as delicately as he handles the baby bunnies in the Skyhold garden.

“Do you control the way they move?” Cole asks after a moment, fascinated.

Auri smiles softly at the way he seems so genuinely interested. “Yes, sort of. Most of it is subconscious.”

“Oh. _Hood, to hide the evidence, to avoid hateful eyes_ ,” Cole murmurs, before he frowns. “You shouldn’t hide them. They’re nice.”

“People aren’t always so kind to elves, Cole,” Auri replies, and Cole watches as her ears droop. She has such prominent ears, she had already been called rabbit a few times by some Orlesian nobles who had found her _adorable_ , in their words.

“Rabbits are nice,” Cole asks next, plucking the word from her head. “Is it bad to be called one?”

“Rabbits are nice, yes, but I’m not an _animal_ ,” Auri replies. “When they call me a rabbit, they see me as nothing but some cute, harmless little pet for their amusement. Sometimes they don’t mean any harm by it, but even so, it’s hurtful- they think of elves as inconsequential at best. At worst, they consider us pests to be exterminated.”

“They shouldn’t have tainted the word,” Cole says quietly, upset.

“Yeah. I like rabbits,” Auri replies, idly fiddling with a few blades of grass.

They enjoy the quiet a while, watching the rolling grey sea, since Auri’s content with her exploration for now. She daydreams a little, wondering if one day she can go swimming for the sole reason that she _wants_ to, without the constant pressing need to work on her shoulders. Being Inquisitor allows for few chances of diversion- in fact, Auri had happily assisted Sera with her pranks once for the chance to cause some mischief.

Being so distracted with wants for leisure time allows Cole plenty of time to curiously poke about in her head.

“Who’s Avela?” Cole suddenly asks, and Auri goes absolutely scarlet.

“ _Cole!_ ” she squeaks.

“You don’t seem to like him.”

“ _Cole…_ ” A bit more weak now, as Auri buries her red face in her hands.

“Why not?”

“It- it’s not that I _dislike_ him, exactly, I just… am perfectly content to stay far away from him,” she begins, and intends to end it there- but Cole blinks at her owlishly in confusion and she sighs and continues. “He’s been trying to convince me to bond with him for… a while. Obviously, not since I was sent to the Conclave, but I’m sure he’d keep trying if I returned to the clan. He’s very… aggressive. It was embarrassing.”

Auri can tell when Cole’s rummaging through her mind, because she sees the way he starts frowning and tensing up.

“Cole. It’s alright,” Auri reassures. “I’m plenty strong enough to force him away.”

“He _hurt_ you,” Cole says, low and harsh, and Auri reaches out from where she’s lying beside him to gently nudge off his hat so she can stroke his hair.

“He didn’t mean to.”

“He _did_ ,” Cole insists, catching her wrist, and Auri’s reassuring smile fades. “ _Hidden, cautious, scouting the wilderness for food. Sighting snowy against deep green, burning anger in his chest that makes the bow rise. The arrow aims for blue, easy target, opportunity taken._ But you turned away after he let go, the arrow strikes the bone of your shoulder. Not deep, but it wounds,” Cole says, before his eyes narrow, gaze intense.

Auri trembles, eyes wide. “He wouldn’t.”

“He would’ve done worse,” Cole says, and it’s nearly a growl. “ _Sudden regret, rushing forward- red running down over snowy white skin. The staff shoulder is wounded, staff out of reach- opportunity. Press her to the earth, **take her** , force her to say yes, she’s small, weak- but then interrupted. The Keeper heard her cry of pain_.”

Auri sits up, and Cole follows after her, letting go of her wrist.

She feels _sick_.

“He was going to…” Auri feels her stomach turning and she barely holds back a scream, and she’s furious, the fear and anger mixing in her torso- but suddenly she’s pulled tight against a familiar body, warm, broad, strong, _safe_.

“ _He will never hurt you again_ ,” Cole says, a deadly promise, and Auri hugs him tight.

“ _I won’t let him have the chance_ ,” Auri hisses, burying her face into Cole’s chest, furious tears seeping into his clothes. “Never again.” 

Her anger makes the air around them frigid, but Cole doesn’t let go of her until she wants him to.


	7. Observations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cole makes some observations, and Auri gets curious about his memory-power.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! I was in a long slump of struggling to get anything done, but I'm back now.

Auri is… 

“Uneasy, unnerved, unhappy. Unwell,” Cole worries. “I’m sorry.” His voice is weak, full of regret, as he sits beside the Inquisitor on the crates in the tavern. He digs in people’s minds, in places he’s been told he shouldn’t, and yet he never seems to learn. He’s frustrated- by poking about in Auri’s mind, he has wounded her badly. Her trust is shaken, her entire view of a relationship with another person is poisoned. 

She is happy to not be with the clan, when she previously missed them.

“I’m alright, Cole,” she reassures, voice soft as she reaches over to gently rest her hand on his and give it a comforting squeeze.

“You’re not,” Cole mumbles back, clearly at least slightly frustrated with her lie, but he is afraid that pushing it will hurt her more.

“I’d rather know of the danger,” Auri says to him. “Sometimes, knowing things hurts. But it’s for the best, sometimes, because pain can help us learn. It helps us learn what hurts us, what _can_ hurt us- and it teaches us to stay away. Hurt is unpleasant, but sometimes it helps you protect yourself. I’m glad you told me.”

“You’re not,” he repeats, but Auri laughs.

“Cole, I’m going to be okay.”

“You’re-“

“Cole, if you say I’m not, I’m going to shove you off these crates,” Auri says with a pout, and Cole finally gives her a small smile. That was more like her- fussy and energetic.

“Okay,” he replies, before adding, “But those weren’t the words. You’re strong. It hurts, but you’re already trying to mend the tear. You will be alright. I’m sorry I hurt you. I dug too deep, stirring up soil in a place I had no business being.” He sounds more somber now, apologetic, and Auri squeezes his hand again- and he squeezes it back, mirroring the touch.

(Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he remembers the familiar sensation- of holding someone’s hand…)

“I said it’s alright, Cole. I’m not angry at you.”

“You’re angry at _him_.”

“Yes.” Auri was still smiling softly, her absent smile covering the frigid fury stirring in her heart. “I really want to hurt him. You must think badly of me for it.”

“ _No_. _”_ Cole’s voice is suddenly low, dark. “He shouldn’t have the chance to hurt anyone ever again.”

Auri feels a brief twinge of fear, and contemplates withdrawing her hand- but she does not. 

Sometimes, Cole is so intense- so sudden, and his view on the world is still so very black and white. She wonders if it’s the effect of being a spirit, of seeing things as clearly one way or another- the certainty that came with his Compassion. She worries, sometimes, how it affects him, how it skews his view on the world. She wishes, sometimes, that he could see the world a bit more like a human- in more shades of grey. It would scare her a little less- sometimes Cole strikes foes so quickly she doesn’t even get a chance to question them, to figure out if perhaps they could be saved.

But maybe she is just too merciful.

“What if it was just a screw up? If he’s changed?” She doesn’t think Avela _has_ changed, but she’s curious to see Cole’s response.

“He hasn’t,” Cole says, with such certainty that Auri no longer feels guilt over wanting to throw her old clanmate off the nearest cliff.

“How do you know?” Auri asks, mirroring his common words with a smile, playful.

Cole doesn’t pick up on the joke, and just answers the question. “Hurt touches hurt. It spreads and unravels and connects through the hearts of those in pain, like a web across the world. Follow the threads long enough, and you can find anyone.”

“ _That’s_ how you heard Cassandra’s uncle!” Auri says in surprise. “And how you found out about Avela…”

“Yes.”

“You could really find _anyone_?” Auri asks, curiosity tingling in her fingers. However, she didn’t anticipate the answer she got.

“ _Agony, red running from where the claws strike his body and teeth sink in. His sword is too far away to reach. ‘No, no, not like this- not like this. I have to go home to them. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry -‘ Gone. Afraid, so afraid,”_ Cole says, before taking a long pause. “…he loves you and your mother very, very much.”

The softest gasp, a trembling breath.

Auri is trembling, a shaking hand over her mouth to hold back the wail that threatens to burst from her lips.

Her father. She had been wondering- _hoping_ , even, that Cole could even hear an echo of him, but to actually… to hear it. His last thoughts. A hunting trip gone wrong.

 _Cole seems to be digging up all kinds of heart-wrenching things, lately_ , she muses wryly, trying to smile behind her quivering hand, to calm herself. Form the smile, the brain thinks you’re happy, the mind calms- but it’s not working, this time.

Cole pulls her closer and holds her, and Auri melts into him like he’s a trusted old friend and trembles, clinging to him. Cole is learning, how and when to give a hug. How tight, how long, where to hold them, should he touch their hair or leave it be? 

Auri is the person he’s most used to holding. He doesn’t usually get to embrace others- usually those who are desperate and grieving, who just need someone to cling to when they feel alone. They forget, afterwards, but that’s fine. At least they leave with the lingering warmth of a hug- that’s something Cole likes, the way a hug can linger even after you’ve stopped touching. It helps even when he’s gone.

Auri likes her hugs tight- for the free spirit she is, it’s surprising that she likes to be held so tightly, tight enough almost to crush, but never enough to actually do so. It makes her feel safe, secure, like someone is protecting her and she won’t fall from their arms. She likes them long, to linger, to let them last as long as they can, so she feels wanted, loved, like someone could never tire of her. She is soft and small and warm, despite how snowy and cold she looked: like icicles off snow-covered stony cliffs. She is small enough that his arms wrap around her entirety so easily, he is broad enough to be a fortress to her, and he is glad for it. Auri likes that he is big and warm, and taller than she is, even if she usually dislikes being shorter than others.

He holds her until she doesn’t need him to, and then lets her go. 

“I miss him,” Auri murmurs.

“I’m sorry,” Cole replies, knowing that there are some things he can’t fix.

* * *

Another day brings a different observation.

“You like that I am bigger than you, and that some of the others are bigger. But sometimes you don’t like it when people are bigger than you. Why?” he questions. The sudden and abrupt change of topic (from the Orlesian bakery’s pastries) makes Auri laugh before giving him a puzzled look.

“Where did that come from?”

“You didn’t like how the baker was taller than you. _What a rude shem that baker is_ ,” Cole says, echoing her thoughts.

Auri waggles a finger at him. “Hey, now. Don’t go on saying those things.”

“But you thought it,” Cole protests, and Auri just laughs.

“So I did. As for people… hm, sometimes, when people are bigger than me, they feel safe. But other times, they feel threatening. It varies by person- does that make sense?”

“ _Blackwall is sturdy and strong, hair black and body like a wall. The name suits him_ ,” Cole hums. “ _Cassandra is tall and regal, more a royal knight than she could ever be a princess, sword sharp but eyes soft._ _But the baker looks down his nose at me, and folds his arms, disdain palpable on the words his tongue twists_. It’s different. I think I understand. It is trust.”

Auri smiles at him and reaches over to pat his hair- something that’s easier to do when they’re both sitting down. She nibbles at her pastry, and Cole observes- he has no interest in food, but seeing people eat still makes him curious as to how it must taste, feel, on someone’s tongue.

“That’s exactly it. It depends on whether I trust them or not, I supposed,” she chirps, before finishing the pastry, brushing the crumbs off her pretty Skyhold outfit, blue and white like her.

There is a brief silence while Auri just shoots him a little smile, and Cole suddenly looks a little put-out.

“I am small in your mind, someone who needs protecting. But you shouldn’t worry. I am here to help you, not to be helped,” he says, and Auri laughs and ruffles his hair again, something that Cole likes despite how it makes him feel a little smaller.

“I don’t know. Something about you makes me want to protect you. It’s not a bad thing, Cole.”

“I am not small.” He is nearly pouting, and Auri giggles.

“I know you aren’t, Cole. You’re nearly twice my size. It’s hard to explain, really. Don’t mind it, alright?” Auri hums, and Cole can’t help but contemplate more, trying to figure out why her mind sees him differently than her eyes do.

Before Cole can respond, Auri hears Sera’s voice from the stair landing nearby, and Auri’s ears perk up in interest.

“Oi, Auri. Come down here a sec, won’t you?” Sera calls, and Auri hums.

“I’ll be right down,” she calls back, and she stands, giving Cole a smile. “I’ll see you later, Cole.”

Cole nods, and watches her go, already aware of what Sera wants to say to Auri- _you shouldn’t be hanging around with Creepy so much, you know?_

But he is not worried. Auri is open and kind, and she trusts him, something that he rarely encounters nowadays. He’s grateful for it, and it’s part of the many reasons he likes to work alongside the Inquisitor. She’s a good woman, he thinks, someone who wants to help, with few ulterior motives. (She does have some, he notes. But they are harmless- “collect pretty things” and “eat nice foods from all over” and “see amazing places.” Auri is enjoying the freedoms and opportunities that her newfound power grants her.)

* * *

“I worry about you. You’re a good egg, you know, not like the other pricks in power. You care about people, you listen to everyone’s ideas no matter where they come from. But even for you, I think getting too close to that _thing_ is too much. He might get in your head,” Sera fusses in the safety of her little nook in the tavern, door shut. “And not in that creepy way he already does- in the _dangerous_ way.”

Sera’s fiddling with one of the many trinkets she’s hoarded into her little nook, and Auri sits and smiles, but does not laugh. No, she doesn’t want to laugh- she knows that laughing at Sera’s fear will alienate the woman. “I don’t think he’s dangerous, Sera.”

“He cut someone’s head off without even trying.”

“So can a bunch of us, Sera,” Auri says, letting mirth slip into her voice. “A lot of us can do that with a blade, the rest of us with magic.”

“Well, his freaky mind-reading thing! He can make people forget him just by lifting a hand! Who knows what else he could do?” Sera says next, huffy and antsy. 

“He’s not dangerous to _us_ , then. Even if he _could_ do something like possess someone- which I _don’t_ think he can- he wouldn’t harm us. We’re his friends.”

“ _You’re_ his friend, Snowy. You and Varric and Mr. Stick-up-his-arse. Definitely not me,” Sera says stubbornly, arms folded over her chest now. Auri only sighs.

“He’s got more friends than you think. They just… have trouble remembering him unless he’s around.”

“Are they really his friends if he makes them forget him? It’s only the lot of us he lets remember.”

“So if we remember him, then we’re his friends~!” Auri chirps next, sounding pleased. “Or at least, he considers us so.”

“Ew, ick! What did I do to make him think we were _friends_?” Sera suddenly exclaims, and Auri rolls her eyes and responds by throwing a cushion at her.

“Be nice, Sera! He’s never done anything to harm you. He just wants to help- he’s a _spirit_. Of _compassion_. Not a demon,” Auri insists, and Sera huffs.

“I won’t believe it, not until he stops doing that mind-poking shite,” Sera says, and Auri sighs.

“Fine. But really, I like him, and he’s my friend. So I will _not_ stop spending time with him,” Auri replies. “Besides, I think it must be lonely, living in a world where no one remembers you. He needs some friends, Sera. It would be awful to be alone all the time.”

“He did it to himself, you know.” Sera is pouting. “He’s the one that makes them forget.”

Auri suddenly paused, blinking slightly as she processed this. “That’s… true. I wonder why that is. I’ll have to ask him.”

Sera scoffed. “Good luck. He never gives a straight answer about anything.”

“Of course he does! You just have to learn to understand him,” Auri says, a little smile on her lips.

“Don’t act like you understand what he’s saying either, Snowy. You don’t understand half the stuff he says either,” Sera replies, chucking the cushion from earlier right back at Auri. Auri catches it with a laugh, and hugs it.

“I’m still learning! It’s a work in progress.”

“Whatever you say, Snowy. Whatever you say.”

Auri pouted and Sera just smirked at her.

 


End file.
